It's not a wall its a very steep incline...but I'm getting there

Having felt quite down recently, today appointment has proved less traumatic than I worried it might be. With past experience in mind i dread sitting in the corridor outside his office as though I've been sent to the head master, waiting for a looming giant displeased dickensian nightmare with a ruler smacking his palm, to summon me for chastisement, humiliation and punition. It is infact nothing like that, the waiting room is airy, cheerful and comfortable, and Dr B is a gentle mannered, kind and very astute man who knows his discipline incredibly well.

The weather has been dreadful, gales and flooding, tiles blowing off next doors roof, dark and miserable I feared the hours drive would be awful, but today I awoke to blue skies and sunshine, the day started well, which is always good.

My first BG of the day was 6.7mmol/120.6mgdl not too bad considering, I remembered to pick up the spare rapid d infusion sets (the ones I'm allergic to) to pass on to my clinic, but I damn well forgot my result book AAAAHHHRG (God I am not organised in the mornings even though I try sooo hard)... Anyway the journey was good and we arrived early, my Blood pressure was up a bit (due to imaginary nightmare situation and the forgetting of the book methinks!), my bmi was 27, weight 185lb/84kg, height 174cm (but i am a bit slouchy at the moment as I have nipped something in my back and its sore).

I spoke at length to my Endo (and DSN) about everything, they were really pleased with my progress, in 7 months I have dropped from 9.8% to a nice round 8.0%, I know I was disappointed but looking at it like that in black and white it's quite cool and the fact that he was pleased and the support from the wonderful peeps here, it's not so bad really, I forget that it's only 7 months since I started pumping, he also says that if my next A1c in January is in the 7's it's green light for the fertility clinic to get going. I am not getting too excited I promise, but that golden nugget has given me a little ray hope, and even more drive than I have already to improve, he had warned me not to get too OCD about it though and I have promised to try not to (I have a tendency to fixate, particularly when I am told 'it's not good enough' but tat didn't happen soo fingers X'ed).

The fact that he was so pleased and complimentary about my results and supportive has lifted the gloom for the moment.

I'm in the middle of the sea and paddling like hell to stay afloat but I've found a buoy :O) x