Well had my appt with the doc, have been having severe fluctuations in my blood pressure, going from a high 190/99 to a low of 90/40. Not so good news, she thinks I may have pheochromocytoma, which are small tumors on your adrenal glands. Just one more thing for me to have handle. Not sure I can much more of this. I have felt like crap for weeks now with my BP fluctuating. She had added meds, taken meds away and nothing seems to work. I am either way too hot or way to cold. So they took 8 tubes of blood and I have to do this 24 hour urine thing this Sunday. It seems I spend all of time at the doc's and at the VA hospital in Ann Arbor. I would love for just one day, not to have any of these problems, to just wake up and all this be a dream for just ONE DAY. The doc wants me under no stress, so now the job I just got about 4 weeks ago, I have to quit, my boss is not going to hold my job for any amount of time I can assure you of that. Oh well, this is another hurdle I need to jump, hopefully I can get over without scraping my knees.

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Comment by Kristin on February 27, 2009 at 1:27pm
Sorry to hear about this extra stress :( Come and vent to us any time....
Comment by Beth on February 27, 2009 at 3:13pm
Thanks for the boost Kristin, it sure does help that I have you guys to vent to. It let's me know that someone out there is listening to me. My family is not so understanding, they all think that everything including the diabetes is my fault. Not thinking that this could be them since it does run in the family. I am the one that it wanted though. You see all of us kids have my mother's blood type, she is A+ and dad is O- and well you get the drift, I am the youngest and it seems everything that my mother had, I am getting as I get older. Which makes for a very depressing and difficult way of thinking. All I think about, is what is around the corner for me, something new or something old, (I thought that was supposed to be for your wedding). :)
Comment by Lois on February 27, 2009 at 9:32pm
Beth:

I am so sorry to hear about all the stress and junk you have to put up with. I know, somewhat, because I have loads of things driving me nuts. It started about 5 years ago when I had a "medical accident" and then the roof fell in. If you want to read about this time in my life, you can go to my site and read my profile. It may encourage you or inspire you or, possibly, depress you a bit.

Right now, I have to put dressings, kotex pads or diapers on my right leg because my body is leaking fluids right through the skin. It's called lymphedema. My lymph nodes died in the lower leg during my "medical accident" and the body does not know how to get rid of them ... so they leak through the skin. Yuk! So, rather than to go on and on, you can see that I understand a great deal of how you feel.

Don't let your family discourage you. You know, you can't tell them anything they don't want to hear. Do you have a "significant other" in your life? Does he let you draw on his strength during times of trouble? It's always great when you have someone near and dear to give you a big hug.

If you quit your job, do you have a means to support yourself? You might want to consider applying for Social Security Disability with the help of your DR. I did and they approved it the first application. No appeal necessary. That's not always the case, though. My ex co-worker applied and fought with them for 2 years and finally won before a judge panel. Maybe that's the way for you to go.

Again, try not to let your family get to you. It only bugs you because you love them. Take care and let me/us know how you are faring.

Lois La Rose
Milwaukee, WI
Comment by Beth on February 28, 2009 at 12:04am
Lois, I can feel your pain as well, I watched as my ex sister in law went thru the same thing with her arm. I fluid built up so bad that it had no where to go but out of the skin. Hers was a different situation but all together the same. She had a cat scratch and her immune system is so compromised that it developed into this big horrific mess. She nearly lost her arm, they a skin graft and it appeared that everything was ok, well her arm started to swell (not where the skin graft was) but everywhere else, she started to get sores where the fluid leaked out....it was pretty gross. She is all better now, I felt like my problems were nothing compared to hers, she has grandchildren and I don't...she lived with her grandchildren and loves them very much. She was not ready to die, I am not ready either but if it comes then I will be ok with it. The only means of support is my daughter but I can't keep asking her to take care of me. Debb has been after me to get my SSD application in and get it started, I just don't feel disabled, I know I could work if not for this one thing. Will have to look into SSD tho I guess. Thanks for all of your support and I will keep everyone posted.
Comment by debb on February 28, 2009 at 11:50am
your darn right i am pestering you. better me then someone who doesn't care.
on the other hand. i know you will do it when you are ready and that is as it should be.
we're gonna have to brush up on jump roping so we can get over these hurdles better.
if you need to talk you know where i am.

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