It all started the summer before 4th grade. I was 10 years old and enjoying the summer like a normal kid except for my frequent bathroom breaks and water breaks. I was drinking a lot and using the bathroom very frequently ... my parents thought nothing of it and just associated it with the hot weather from summer. Soon i began to loose weght and my family members became concerned and insisted that my parents bring me to the doctor to get checked out. My dad didnt think anything was wrong so my parents put it off for awhile. I kept loosing weight and developed heavy dark bags under my eyes so my mom decided she would just take me and see what was going on. My mom and aunt took me too the doctor where they drew my blood to run some tests. The following day after the doctors my parents recieved a phone call from my doctor asking them to bring me to see him ASAP. At the doctors me and my parents recieved the news that i was a Type One Diabetic and that today would be the start of a new life style not only for me to live with but also the rest of my family. I was sent to Children's Hospital in The Twin Cities (Minnesota).I can remeber the car ride to the hospital.. i was crying and asking questons like "what is diabetes?" " am i going to die?" and all my mom could say was i dont know right now amber but i promise everything will be alright. In between the questions and answers of my mom and i there were periods of silence and then an occasional sniffle. I spent two weeks in the hospital. I went to education classes all day. The only words that really stuck in my head through the years is " Your lucky you are alive.. you should have been in a diabetic coma or dead by now." Two weeks felt like a year but it was finally time to go home. I went home and had educators come and go from my house for the next couple weeks. I learned to draw up my own insulin using syringes and viles and my blood sugars were getting under control which was a blessing for us all. Going to school was a stuggle for me... i had to explain to kids that i had grown up with that i was different now.. it scared me. For my first two weeks back to school my mom had to go with me just to make sure i go my insulin ok and to make sure my blood sugars stayed under control. All my class mates took it really good. They were all full of questions but that was expected like my parents warned me. A year had passed and everything was going good until my parents faced me with some bad news... we were going to be moving.. not just houses... not cities but states! We moved to East Moline, Illinois. This killed me. Even though we moved by my dads family i still left behind my moms family, my childhood home, friends and most of all the thing that changed my life. I began to rebel and stopped checking my blood sugars and taking my insulin. Nobody noticed because they were all into the move and the craze of finding new jobs. I started getting really sick and ended up in the hospital with DKA (Diabetic Ketoacidosis). Doctors and family blamed it on hormones but little did they know it was due to me taking care of my diabetes. Soon i started seeing an endrocronologist where they taught my parents how to look in my Glucose meter to check my blood sugars. After that my parents checked my meter weekly and found i wasnt checking. At this point not only was i in big trouble from my parents but i was in big trouble with my health. I was in an out of the hospital with DKA for 3 years. It got so bad that doctors and nurses begin to no me by my first name without even having to look at my medical chart. By this time i was switched to the insulin pens. I still wasnt doing what i was supposed to and im not exactly sure why i chose not to do it but i did. My parents were very frustrated with me.. i was always getting in trouble and i was constantly threated to be sent away to a rehab type home for help because my choices to not take control of my diabetes had overcome me. My mom would cry and tell me she wasnt ready to burry me with my grandma. She even started calling funeral places to plan my funeral because i was basically slowly killing myself. I begged for my parents to trust me but trust was nowhere in my future with them. A couple years went on and i started doing better with what i needed to do and my trust was coming back with them. I was switched to the minimed medtronic insulin pump two years ago and it lowered my A1C from 15 to 7.5. Everyone was so proud of me until i decided to fall back into m bad ways. I dont know why i choose this, i dont want to , i just feel like giving up so i stop checking. I hate it and i want to start taking care of myself. Its just im stuck in this way and i dont know how to get out of it. I was recently hospitalized and its sad to say but i cant even tell you anything from 3 of those 5 days i were there... i dont remember anything. I constantly have high blood sugars.. i want to get back on track so im hoping i can meet some of you and get some help! I know i need to do it for myself but also my family. I am hurting them ... not just me. And what makes it worse is two years ago my brother was diagnosed with diabetes and to my parents he is a perfect diabetic. Befor that we knew nobody with diabetes. Right now my A1C is 15.6 ... i am very embarassed by this and i want to lower it!

So.. thats my story.. i wanted to share it because i dont want anyone to make the choices i have.. it ruins your body... i am 18 now and i will be very lucky to make it to 50 just because i chose not to do what i need... If you think about it there are way worse diseases out there and most of the people who live with those diseases cant do anything to control it unlike us. I have really messed up and im ready to get back on track!

I am always here to talk to anyone about their problems and frustrations too! Thanks for taking the time to read my story.. i hope it can reach out to people and people can learn from my story. Theres more to it and if u want to no more feel free to ask!

-AmberMarie

Views: 162

Comment by Megan S on October 18, 2012 at 3:15pm

Hi AmberMarie

It's never too late to start on the right path. Well done for picking yourself up and starting to make the right choices!

And don't forget that your brother has seen and learnt from you - I bet that's one of the reasons he's a "perfect" diabetic.

Comment by QueenDiaBeatThis on October 18, 2012 at 4:28pm

Hi AmberMarie!

I'm 24 now and was diagnosed a month before my 18th birthday, just before I went off to university. I also abused myself with my diabetes because I was upset over different issues in my life. When I was 20 my parents got a divorce, one of my baby sisters were self-mutilating, my brother was on drugs, and I had a succession of failed relationships, so I was under a lot of stress and newly diabetic (only 2 years in). I'm glad that you want to get your life under control again; it is very difficult and takes one step at a time, trust me. I'm more than willing to be an ear if you ever need anything.

Amanda

Comment by acidrock23 on October 18, 2012 at 5:52pm

Yikes! That's a very hair-raising story! I did *A LOT* of crazy stuff when I was younger, and still do occasionally, but generally kept my BG sort of in line so the party didn't stop. I'd look into finding something to be interested in besides being angry at your parents and diabetes. Learn how to play guitar or something, I did quite a bit of that and it's hard to tune a guitar when my BG is yutzed up so it helped me keep things in line. Martial arts were good too, although I didn't do that until I was a lot older. Life is better than the alternative and you showed you could do it when you lowered your A1C.

Comment by Betty J on October 18, 2012 at 7:19pm

Amber, you've done no better or worse then more of those who were dxed in childhood. I was dxed in my teens which by itself is difficult and then there wasn't the technology that is available today...I've lived with this disease for 53 years and still going. So stop feeling guilty and now that you're older and more mature carry on with what you know to be the correct way to manage your Diabetes.

Comment by KML on October 19, 2012 at 5:15pm

Realizing that you need to make changes is the first step towards your success. You can and will do it Amber. What a beautiful young girl you are, now take charge of your life and create your own destiny. You are the master of your fate and captain of your soul. Good luck!

Comment by shoshana27 on October 19, 2012 at 5:50pm

i was diagnosed w. type 1 when i was not yet 3. that was 76 years ago. there were no meters, pumps, disposable syringes, pens,...etc...don't give up just keep going & take care of yourself.

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