My Easter Weekend Experience + Diabetes

Happy Times:

* Getting to color a bunch of eggs and taking cellphone pics of the whole process

* Receiving $30 giftcard to Monaco (best nearly movie theatre) from parents-in-law for Easter instead of usual basket of easter candy. Very thoughtful alternative to holiday candy

* Having a nice sit-down lunch with my whole in-law family

* Watching old family movies of husband as a sweet mumbling 3-year-old opening christmas presents and laughing alot with husband and husband’s mother

Not-so-Happy Times:

* Getting a bad diabetic hypoglycemia (low blood sugar) episode that refused to go away starting in the middle of early Sunday morning church service. Felt the familiar evil-ness of the usual shaky cold-sweats washed-out feeling, brain not working properly, that wonderful hollow-limbs far-away feeling, lack of coordination (my limbs refused to do what I wanted), irritability, and embarassment in public.

* I felt like I had no choice during bible class after the sermon but to sit there and feel horrendous because I made the mistake of sitting as far away from the classroom’s exit as possible and with as many nice people in between me and the door as possible. I had brought a snack of sandwich bag full of Wheat Thins but they obviously weren’t cutting it, and eventually couldn’t hold up my own stuff like wallet and cellphone on my own lap, let alone hold up my own arms on my lap. I asked my hubby to carry my stuff for me on his lap. I couldn’t look up at the lesson teacher the whole time either because he used his arms to express himself alot, which made me extra nauseous.

* Having hubby sit there and argue with me through the entire car ride to his parents’ house about checking my sugar more often than I do to prevent this from happening in the middle of church. I agreed to anything he lectured me about my diabetes just so his mouth would stop producing sounds and I could close my eyes, lay back in the passenger seat and be pale in peace in the hot car.

* Having hubby threaten to take me home to our apartment instead of his parents’ for lunch and my promised easter egg coloring activity.

* Having hard time undressing and changing out of church dress when we arrived at hubby’s parents’ house. Struggling to untie comfy cotton 3/4 shorts’ double-knotted drawstring knot. If my brain was working properly, I would have been able to untie it. I probably didn’t even need to untie the drawstring on shorts because they went into (and out of) the wash that way, meaning I was able to pull them off perfectly fine w/ the double knot the last time I wore them… and I could have probably pulled them on just fine with the double-knotted drawstring. Swallowed my humility and asked hubby to assist with the double knot because was still too low-sugar to do it myself. (He had just given me a double chocolate cookie to munch on to fix my sugar a few moments ago). A perfectly reasonable sounding cry for help to me under the circumstances, but hubby accused me of over-reacting and forcing his help on me while (to him) I was probably already fine. (In retrospect, orange juice was perfectly available for sugar fix and would have acted quicker and we probably should have gone for that instead of some double-chocolate cookie that happened to be lying around his parents’ kitchen). Felt bad bad bad bad horrible @ hubby’s accusatory reaction to my needing assistance with a double-knotted drawstring tie to comfy sunday afternoon shorts. Had some not-so-nice thoughts towards hubby in similar context to “well why don’t we just stick you with some large dose of insulin to careen your blood sugar down to a dangerous level and see how well YOU do with that?!!”

* Feeling horrified that sugar not rapidly returning back to normal yet… while hearing entire in-law family arriving from separate sunday morning church services and gathering in livingroom/kitchen to chat happily in a happy boisterous way amongst each other. Feeling sad that I am not present for happy boisterous family chatting while waiting for lunch to be served as usual every sunday… instead was in husband’s old bedroom lying facedown on bed, feeling as limp as a wet noodle, feeling shaky as well as feeling increasingly apart from normal young carefree happy-go-lucky human being mode. Sad, wet-noodle, horrible, abnormal, care-burdened, not-so-happy, non-human-being, sick-diabetic-nutcase mode instead. Felt isolation from other normal happy people as an absolute necessity while waiting for non-diabetic-nutcase mode to arrive. Told husband “I’ll just keep lying here for a bit until lunch is ready; I’m sorry, they won’t understand.” Felt sure that they really really wouldn’t understand. Speculated at what husband (who accused me of over-reacting to really needing assistance with untying double-knotted drawstring shorts) might have told them in explanation. Surreptitiously and shamefully wondered if anybody noticed my absence. Hubby did keep coming back to check on me and kiss my forehead and stroke my hair while asking how I was doing, though.

* Feeling well enough to sit upright at dinner table when lunch was ready, but to my own dismay, apparently not well enough yet to serve own self and refrain from missing mouth with forkfuls of food, but kept nearly sticking food up own nose instead. Not well enough to respond appropriately to queries from mother-in-law about how my week was with anything aside from blank stares and “Huh?” Not well enough to not continually drop food (that was seriously super drop-prone all of a sudden) from my chin when I felt positively sure that it all went into my mouth. Responded to more polite and concerned queries to my quietness with more blank stares and “huh’s,” which was explained away by husband with perfunctory “she’s just still sleepy…” Forced to engage every molecule of attention to feeding own self without causing further dinner-table-related humiliation and was simply forced into not noticing when everyone else was finished and moving on to enticing slices of red velvet cakes (which I couldn’t have anyway), and various couples leaving after lunch without receiving my acknowledgement or my usual goodbye hug and smiley wave. Was otherwise super-focused on applying food to mouth instead of cheek, nose, or chin. Brain capacity fried. Lunch lasting an eternity. Hubby apologetic and discreet. Entire in-law family possibly offended or believing me to be extra-super-strange (more than usual), deranged, and/or on crack. Delicious, nutritious, well-rounded food. Worried I still wouldn’t feel well enough during entire afternoon’s opportunity to color eggs, a much anticipated activity I had been looking forward to all week. I went back to lay down for upwards to 50 minutes before I felt completely out of diabetic low-sugar fog. I got to go and color my eggs, but the giddiness of my later egg coloring fun probably drained me completely, and I came home utterly exhausted.

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Comment by karebear1966 on April 28, 2011 at 1:11am
((((((((((((((HUGZZZZZZ)))))))))))))))

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