I am no longer pumping...the supplies are too expensive, since I am starting my first semester of college. I just can't afford it...which makes me really sad. My parents are also angry with me because by going on the pump I was supposed to improve my blood sugar...but it's gotten worse. My A1C of about 2 weeks ago was 9.2. I don't feel well at all. However, the day that I got my A1C results, I went back to MDI, and my blood sugar has gotten even worse! I don't really know what to do anymore. I've lost down to 106 pounds, probably because my blood sugar is so high all the time. I don't know whether I am doing this on purpose or not...the lines become blurred in my mind. Perhaps I am trying to hurt myself or maybe I am out of control because I feel guilty for so many reasons. I don't know how to fix things at this point, I'm just so weary. I don't know how to describe just how very tired and lost I am. But I do especially miss pumping. I bruise from all of the injections. Of course that's probably just me being self-indulgent! I just don't know what to do anymore...it's weak of me to say this, but I can't and do not want to bear this disease anymore!