Not Gonna Lie, I'm a Bit Frustrated

A little over a year ago, we lost my grandpa to colon cancer. My grandma, who we call Mema, isn't really done dealing with that. Plus, her friend from work, Becky, was just diagnosed with colon cancer. So now she's really stressed out and worried about losing her friend the same way she lost her husband.

 

Then yesterday, she had to put her 2 year old puppy down. The dog, Tiny, had congestive heart failure, pneumonia, AND heart worms. It all sprung up out of nowhere and by the time she got to the vet, it was too late. Mema has one other dog, but he's not a big dog like Tiny was. She felt safer with Tiny around because she lives alone and Tiny was like her guard dog. We're thinking about giving her our dog, who she adores, but we're not sure yet. When she took care of him while we went on vacation, he looked for us the whole time we were gone. So I guess if we can't give him to her, then we'll find her another big dog.

 

It's so frustrating to know that she's going through all these crazy things, and feel like I can't help her.

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Comment by Gerri on December 30, 2010 at 9:48pm

Am sorry for all the sadness for your Mema. Hope she gets her other dog checked for heartworms & puts the dog on heartworm prevention.

Comment by Starspangled Alien on December 31, 2010 at 4:40am

Hi there. I am sorry to hear of all this and sorry for your loss! :-( 

 

I guess my advice would be to be there for your grandma whenever you can at the moment to reassure her she isn't alone.  It's difficult sometimes, especially when family live long distances and I appreciate the pressures of life and work can somewhat hinder this sometimes however dropping in from time to time to say hello may reassure her.  I know that my grandma lived alone and her dog had to be put down due to an illness and I never really made the time to see her as much as I should.  I regret that now, but then life is too short for regrets and I try and learn from the experience.  No doubt you will miss your grandpa also, after all a year isn't all that long.

 

However saying all this, I don't think giving away your dog is a good idea because no doubt you love your dog and vice versa.  I think maybe you may have a slight regret later in life and the dog may not settle in your grandma's home.  Also it's difficult because no doubt your gran will still be grieving over Tiny as well as possibly still grieving from the loss of your grandpa.  I think give it a bit of time, maybe create a photo album / memory book of all the times with your grandpa and Tiny and give it to your gran.  Take a few hours just to go up and sit with her and talk about the memories and the happy times.  It may benefit her and you immensely to remember the happy times with someone you both loved.  Also she will have happy memories of Tiny.

 

After some time if you feel that your gran still feels vunerable and alone, it could be possible to introduce her to a social club / coffee morning and encourage her to go.  Is there a minibus service etc that would pick her up from her home? This way she would feel more secure and not have to walk the streets alone.  Maybe someone would mind the dog also?

 

Best of luck and I hope you find a solution and work through the rough times sooner rather than later!

Rach x

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