So I guess I am just really frustrated and need to vent.... and writing it out helps somewhat since I don't have anyone else I could talk to who could possible understand what I am going through....

Everything was going fine until a few month ago.... I have a 522 pump and started using more insulin so I had to change the reservoir every 1 day and I tried to get a 722... but of course Medtronic would only exchange my pump for paying 400$... which I just don't have... as a College student I am happy when I can afford food... anyways so I switched to the Omnipod for free and everything was fine for a few weeks until I had 4 pod failures in one day and ended up in the hospital with a DKA.... after that I started getting allergic to the Omnipod tape and couldn't use that one either anymore.... switched back to the Minimed and then the stupid needle from the infusion set broke off inside of me and I had to have surgery.... now I am stuck with shots and horrible blood sugars....

I am so sick and tired of my diabetes... It is affecting my grades, my mood and pretty much everything in my life.... the only thing I want is to make it go away......Everything I do somehow ends up being bad... I just don't want to take care of it anymore! What for? There is obviously nothing that I can do right.....

Views: 33

Comment by Jamie on March 22, 2011 at 12:01am
Please don't stop trying .. but let it out girl we all needa vent about this annoying s*** we have to deal with. IT SUCKS but I'm sure you'll get through it. Sorry to hear about all the trouble you've been having, must have been really scary.
Comment by Taylor Bennett on March 22, 2011 at 8:54am
Oh my god! Story of my life! I am having to drop a class this semester because of how dealing with diabetes is affecting me right now. And I'm only going half time! I'm sure my professors think I'm crazy or full of s*** but there is so much power in those numbers and most of the time I just feel like crap! How are we supposed to wake up in the morning and consciously take over our own metabolism (which is supposed to f***ing work! Like breathing or blood pumping throughout your body) AND be a college student, jumping through each hoop with a well crafted essay and a mastery of multiple choice/short answer/timed essay exams?

I super feel your pain. It feels like there is nothing else you can do. I tend to laugh. And cuss a lot. It kinda makes me feel better, sometimes it doesn't. One thing of note, as much as I have periods where EVERYTHING is going wrong, there are times when not much of anything happens as well. I have learned to appreciate those lulls in the storm. That's a little depressing more depressing than I meant it to be.

My suggestion is to bitch and whine and be all I-have-diabetes-give-me-presents (just don't over do it) and then move on the best you can. We are told in this society that suffering in silence is a virtue and be grateful for what you do have (I want to stab people that tell me to be thankful I don't have cancer), which doesn't really help when you feel s*****, have major health stuff going down, and are stuck inside your own head all the time. You totally deserve a friend to treat you to a mani/pedi, possibly a massage too. :) Hang in there.
Comment by Holger Schmeken on March 22, 2011 at 9:05am
The most important question is: do you get the right amount of basal insulin?

I am very sceptical about Lantus. Please talk to your medical team about switching to Levemir. But Levemir alone is not enough. You need to take two shots of Levemir per day (every 12 hours) to get a good and even coverage with basal insulin. I know it sounds like more work but at the end it really pays out. Levemir does not peak much thus you can expect to have more predictable numbers with it.
Comment by onesaint on March 23, 2011 at 9:27pm
That sounds like a really rough patch. Sometimes I have months like that as well. Not quite as spectacular as yours has been, but feeling the burden and stress of one thing after the next can really weight heavy on you.

I went through a spat like that and the way I found to cope was taking day by day. Today may be a mess, surgeries, failed devices (I hate when this happens!), just plain old high blood sugars, it all will come and pass. Life doesnt stop for anything or anyone, but there is a new day starting tomorrow and a new chance at making it a good day. Lets start with that and we can work out the rest as we move along.

Takes Holger's advice and look into Levemir as I have seen multiple folks complain about Lantus. Supposedly, switching will make things much smoother as far as control goes. Having simple things like more stable insulin will allow you to work less hard to achieve the results your after. Its odd how diabetes works sometimes, but if you do a little leg work up front (choosing easy calculated meals and what not) then it makes managing it a whole lot easier. And thats the goal right? Easy management.

Time will pass, MDI will get easier, youll have a new pump, and management will get easier.
Comment by Kara on March 24, 2011 at 7:11pm
I know you won't understand how someone without diabetes (me) can even say I can understand.... well I can't, but I do work every day with young folks who have at one time or another been through what you so clearly explained......dealing with diabetes TOTALLY SUCKS, especially when it seems like nothing is going your way. Wherever it is you are in school I would encourage you to check into see if there is a health psychologist on staff at the student heath service....... if not maybe there is one available through your health insurance plan? Sometimes venting helps (I hope it did for you)........sometimes you need just a bit more than than. The job of health psychologists is to work with folks who have any variety of health related issues that can affect daily life.........they can help.

You have to give yourself more credit than you are! You're making attempts at changes to make it better, but sometimes it just gets so exhausting you need some help~
Comment by markkoeks on June 27, 2011 at 11:24am
I really sympathize and feel your frustration Christina, and I hope things are better nowadays, that you've managed to get your D under control!

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