One month ago today was the start of my new life. We were at the Cleveland Clinic with my little boy. We had seen so many doctors and nurses by the end of the day, that we barely remembered anyone's name. My baby had Diabetes.
Even a month later, I still feel like I am just going through the motions. Wake up, check blood sugar, give insulin, eat breakfast, old-normal time, time for lunch, check blood sugar, give insulin, eat, old-normal time, time for dinner, check blood sugar, give long and short term isulin, eat, old-normal time, check blood sugar, if low have a snack, go to bed. Worry all day!
It is much better than it was when we came home a month ago, but I still feel like I haven't been able to deal with all of my emotions and come to grip with the fact that this is the new Rivera Family lifestyle. Sometimes the reality just seems to hit me at the strangest times, and when it does, it hits hard. For instance, I work in surgery, and the other day we were really busy. The nurse in the room with me asked if I was looking to stay late that day or if I needed to go home on time. It just so happened that my husband already had something going on after work that day, so my parents were going to watch the boys for about an hour and a half before I would be home from work. My parents really don't know how to take care of Brennen now other than possibly taking a blood sugar reading and calling my husband or myself with the results to find out what to do next. So, I explained the situation to her and told her I needed to be out on time. She called my boss to see if someone was going to be able to get me out of work on time. My boss talked to the surgeon and he said he would be able to get the surgery done in time. That was great news for me! The nurse then told the surgeon that my son had recently been diagnosed with Diabetes and I needed to get home to take care of him. She said, "He is Diabetic." I have no problem with the term of being "Diabetic", but for some reason this really hit me hard. I felt like I just wanted to break down and cry right then and there. Not a good idea when you are helping preform surgery on someone. It is not the nurses fault and I am not upset with her. I think that just hearing those words made me realize that he does have Diabetes, there is nothing I can do to change that, and he will have it forever....until they find a cure.
We are going to attend a JDRF support group this weekend. I hope this will help me to deal a little bit better with my emotions. We are going to try and get paired up with a local family who has a child around our son's age who also has Diabetes. I think this will not only be helpful for us as parents, but also for our boys. I am very excited!