I feel so overwhelmed lately. I love my time with Lee but its so hard because a lot of days he gets really upset or cries when i leave, today was better i know they upped the prozac a few days ago so hoping it helps and keeps helping. I just want him home with me but the insurance is giving us the run around with everything. I found a house that would work great only needs ramps and a bathroom redone. But no they want to build, in teh SPRING! His discharge date is Oct. 28th exactly 5 months after the accident. And they would build a 400 thousand dollar house this one is only 189 thousand. If we wanna just live there free we can but then if something happens to him im out on the street pretty much. Or we can own by making the ins monthly payments. would be a lot easier on the 189 thousand dollar house! I want Lee home now, not next year! The hospital wont keep him that much longer! So the ins said well they could put us in a handicap rental until then, umm even teh drs said Lee needs permanent and NOW not to go from house to house and we have 8 pets, how many rentals will let us have 8 pets? We been renting from my parents thats why we have so far! I had major depression and bipolar before the accidnet, right now im just sitting on my bed typing and crying. Been trying for 2 days to get ahold of my therapist but yesterday she didnt call back adn today she had to leave early and still didnt call back. I dont let Lee know im depressed. I go see him in the mornings and deal with lawyers and Ins and my medical in teh afternoon. My dr wants me home by 1 to take my pain meds and nap/rest. I barely sleep anymore, pain meds arent doing much anymore, i need that back fusion but i wont do it till were moved to where were staying its at least a 6 month recovery the first month will be mostly bedrest. I can do it once we have a home because Lee will have home health care and the house i found is perfect and very open, wide door ways, since he needs a hospital bed id give him teh master bedroom and i would be right accross the hall id set it up where we can see each other thru the door ways. That bathroom would be turned into a handicapped bathroom. Even has a sun room and fire place, both very therapeutic.for both of us. I dont let him know about my depression because his is so bad. He doesnt know how bad my health is either just that im giogn to a lot of drs. I tell him what i can but some is hard to lay on him when he cant help.

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Comment by Peetie on October 20, 2011 at 1:23pm
Oh Gosh Angie, you sure do have a lot to deal with. Ever since you started posting about Lee's accident I have admired your strength. I hope that you are able to sort all this out before Lee comes home. We are all praying for you. Joanne
Comment by Angie Howard on October 20, 2011 at 1:33pm
Thanks, i deal the best i can but some days are just so hard...
Comment by Gerri on October 20, 2011 at 6:28pm
Who wouldn't be overwhelmed! So very sorry for what you're going through. Realize how hard it is with the stress, worry & insurance nonsense, but please try to take care of yourself. Do it for you & for Lee. Wishing that everything you & Lee need you get.
Comment by brokenpole on October 21, 2011 at 6:35am
Angie, yo are stronger and braver than you think. You have energy inside that you haven't tapped into yet. To deal with what you are dealing with tells me that you ae very strong. There are a lot of us that feel overwhelmed just dealing with the big D. But it wounds to me like you are handling it very well.

Just remember...YOU CAN DO IT!!
Comment by Linda G on October 21, 2011 at 8:46am
Oh my goodness my dear Angie....what a whole lot you have to deal with. No wonder you feel overwhelmed....who wouldn't. I do know that at the moment, you can't see the forest for the trees....it's just too much. Try, if you can, to focus on one thing at the time. You are SUCH A STRONG PERSON Angie. Perhaps writing it all down as a type of schedule....including a slotted time frame for you, but the trick is to abide by it. Make it detailed. Say......
7:00 am....get up, shower, breakfast
That sort of thing, and take it through the day in that way. As well...listen to positive uplifting music during your "me" time. During the time when you are not with Lee, see if you can go outside for a walk or just to sit out for a bit. Try not to remain cooped up inside the whole day...that too is depressing.
Is there a friend/neighbour/family that you can also connect with? Ya know....a real skin and bone person? That said....stay posted with us Angie, we care so much about you and Lee. If you need to post late and in the wee hours, there will always be someone here for you. Don't give up....you ARE doing it. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for....and Lee and you need each other. I will pray pray pray that there will SOON be a positive resolve. In the meantime, know that we care and that you are loved xxxxxxx
Much love....linda ♥
Comment by catlover on October 21, 2011 at 9:49am
Angie- You are a very strong person just to have come this far with all of Lee's problems. Just remember, he is much better than he was a few months ago. We are all thinking about you and Lee and saying prayers for you. You will get thru this too. Stay firm when you talk to the Ins. co. This will all be resolved.
Comment by Angie Howard on October 22, 2011 at 11:33am
I dont feel strong anymore, i just break down crying even driving lately sometimes have to pull over. I feel like im hanging on by a thread and that its ready to break. Lee is noticing too. I am not an assertive person im very shy and lately i have to push myslef not to be shy and make sure he gets the care he needs. I do have a schedule adn i have friends online that help me, i have one that comes on at the time that i get home from seeing Lee and he talks to me while i eat lunch and let the dogs play, then i put the dogs in their kennels and he reminds me i need to nap and take my pain meds with my back being so bad and i was raped and beaten 6 years ago so am terrified of sleeping, so he talks to me while i doze off, i use a laptop. Then at night another friend who is acutally a therapist lol he talkst o me till i go to sleep and stays on till i doze off. Lee knows them both and likes them and is glad they are tehre for me. My friends rl have disappeared. Said my lifes too much drama. And teh friend that on at night we met of course in public 3 weeks ago, hes as nice rl as online. Hes going to make teh trip up to see Lee one day soon, we met half way i had to go outta town to get Lee warmer clothes and its half way from where he lives so he made teh 2 hours drive. He can wait to be able to come up and see Lee.

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