Today, I am restless. I'm tired and that's no lie.
To deny what I feel would be a lie I'd try to force feed myself and I don't even have the energy for that.
Parents get tired, too.
We know what it is to be overwhelmed, to feel like our most is never enough and to start and try to finish only to have to start again.
I long for the day to be over but there's still so much to be done.
It's easy to become discouraged when you deal with medication and medical equipment that sometimes have a mind of their own. Most days I go on like all is normal, and then other days the reminder that your child has Diabetes jumps at you, "Whoop! There it is!"
You feel like you have entered the ring, the bell has rung, BING! and the hits and punches keep coming but no one ever rings that darn bell ever again. It's like everything around you is waiting for you to give up, knock yourself out and stay down for the count, forever. The sugar is high, the sugar is low, roller coaster ride, forever on the go.
If you're a parent that has to put the insulin pump on your child, maybe you can identify with me at the moment. You place the pump into a new site on your child that should stay and hold for two to three days and then, just when you are ready to either nod off to dreamland (if there's such a place for moms) or step out the door to go to work, someone says, "Mom." and you find out the pump has come off. Or, "Mom, I think my sugar is low...." Running to get juice, check sugar, hurry....
I feel like Charlie Brown, Aauuuggghhhh! Frustrated and misunderstood because I either want to enjoy a few moments of rest, or really, really need to fly out that door. It's no one's fault. No one is to blame. Stuff happens and what can we do.
The truth is, as much as we want to step away, we can't. So, I get back up and do what I have to do because so far, George Jetson and all the robots in his world aren't going to show up anytime soon to help out.
Dear friend, I know you too are tired and overwhelmed, but know that the Lord knows you are doing the best you can and He will never, ever leave you alone. Take it like I will do today, one step, not one day, I'll say, one step at a time. Go little by little. It will get done. Life will be there tomorrow with all the ups and downs again. So, take a deep breath. Put on some music and let's get that dinner done.