Everyday when I wake up I make a little prayer that my readings are in single figures and then I have hope for the rest of the day that I will have remarkable readings.
Then I see the 11`s and 15`s so I have to take my prayer back and figure out what to eat to balance that out so some lemon tea and toast (one slice by the way) and I do my best to get my carbohydrate count on point, in order to get that remarkable reading I head out for a walk to bring it down from that 11 or that shocking 15 then as soon as I come to a suitable place to do my next test I find it to be a scandalous 17 my heart nearly stops!
All the questions of how, Why, what, and where? Come to mind and a surreal feeling of disappointment takes over but I am still human so I go and find something else to eat maybe something with low carbohydrates how about salad and tuna with a naan bread that’s kind of easy to carb count so I go ahead and check before eating it comes down to 13 still not what I hoped for but its better the that scandalous 17 so I do my sums and take the unit of insulin I had counted. Here is to hoping…………….
The two hours wait so do some house work, watch a bit of my favourite soaps before I know it the two hours have gone by here go the worry the concern of more numbers so I go ahead in the hope of seeing that succulent 7 or that divine 6.
The finger prick is done the strip is put into the machine just getting the blood to put into the strip and the beep from the machine, I envision the succulent 7 the divine 6 I would even settle for a 9 but that scandalous 17 raises its ugly head.
The questions get more confusing the vision get blurred but I still have to hope and pray for that perfect number so till my evening meal I have to wait in anticipation and eagerness, I don’t even feel like eating because I am so down about that scandalous unstable number.
Before I am aware I feel hungry, frustrated so I decided to check to see any changes a little beam of light shows from the machine as the numbers go down to 14 still disappointed I go to find something again not bothered about carbs at this point as I enter the kitchen I remember that I want something with little carb but at the same time something to keep me warm so I decide on eggs no carbs with some beans, I go ahead and count the amount of carbs enjoy my meal as I am hungry in mind that I have to check again in two hours.
By this time my fingers are getting sore seeing as I can only use 6 fingers instead of ten I then look at them see the black spots caused by the needle as well as the cracked skin of repeated injections and the pushing of blood a question comes to my head to these fingers look the fingers of a young lady? As they say time waits for no man or woman in this case the two hours are up.
The strip into the machine the needle in the finger the blood into the machine as well as the vision and the emotions followed by beep from the machine as well as a revolting 19 point something or the other, what am I doing wrong? Is it the machine?
I decide I have had just about enough of all the emotions……….
Then I remember the complications so I wonder what part of my body is it murdering my eyes, my brain cells, my heart or my brain what about increasing the damage already done to my gums?
As I am only human I go ahead and do the strip into the machine the needle in the finger the blood into the machine as well as the vision and the emotions followed by beep from the machine then I see that scandalous 17 but this time it’s more like an angelic 17 saintly 17 more importantly flawless.
You have just witnessed a day into the life of a diabetic.