"The mind is a scary place. One shouldn't go in there alone at night."
You know, I think I over react to the personal responsibility argument because I am of an age to remember very clearly when words like that were acceptable code for "It's your fault you were raped" because you went for a walk alone or wore a pretty dress. And, as a teacher of 40 years, I know that the humiliation of shaming and blaming is no way to teach anything we care about here at TuD. All they teach is self-loathing.
Debb, among others, said it well. We are here, we care about taking care of ourselves or we wouldn't have found this place.
In discussions like this, I guess I just want to be sure we are careful about not making assumptions about what people are capable of in their varied real worlds. Not too long ago, one of our members of whom I was fond, had to go off line for an extended period because she had to take her computer to the pawnshop. She's not back yet and I miss her. She was all about doing everything she could to take care of herself and her 2 kids.
And then there is this---are we heading toward a furthering of our already prevalent tendency as a society to punish people for their pleasures?
When I was first diagnosed and struggled with a sense of shame, I came up against things like---well how far back do we go. Do I regret how much I loved my mother's potato salad and her homemade chocolate pudding. Or my Dad's Chef Pierre Burgers and beef stew with dumplings. Picture it: Minnesota in the 1950s---cream of mushroom soup and Miracle Whip were the glue that held everything we ate together and dinner conversations with guests could easily turn to the latest news on the very best butter---Butter---the ultimate expression of love. We were all active and none of us were overweight, but this was not only normal eating, it was the love of my parents in every bite.
Personally, I do my duty everyday, taking care as best I can. But duty is what it is. There is nothing of joy in it. I don't miss food. I miss my art. A very different kind of hunger.....
And then there was this in answer to one of our members whose attitude toward self-care was "my way or the highway."........
Interesting. Intolerance comes in many guises. Sometimes it is disguised with a thin veneer of apparent kindness.
When I was in my teens, at the end of a heated debate with my father about the Vietnam war, he looked at me and said: "You make some good points, daughter, but you can't Bludgeon people into believing."
If one takes the time to get to know how diverse we are, one would find all of us to be forces for putting Good and Caring energy into the universe. This is a safe place for us to vent and not let bad energy get bottled up.
There are as many paths to self-care as there are diabetics. Each of us has found one that works for us. Bravo. Brava. Hooray for TuD as another anniversary approaches!
Be well all.....