URGH!!! So irritated and frustrated right now!!!! I had a doctor apointment yesterday with my Endo, and everytime I see either him or my diabetic educator, they tell me 2 different things. My educator told me that if I keep doing as well as I am, I can get a pump in a month, then yesterday my endo said that I have to wait until December!!!! Who do I listen to, the educator (who I talk to and see more) or my endo (who makes me wait 30 min after my scheduled apointment to only see me for 15 min, and I only see him once every 3 months)? And to top it off, I've gained all my weight back and I think that I'm fat, but people keep telling me that I look good and when I was smaller that I looked "sickly", no I didn't look sickly, they are just not used to seeing me that small so they think that I looked bad, either that or they were just jealous that I was skinnier than them. and I can't work out until my chiro says that my back is fine and it's okay to work out. Plus I'm so tired of my life now being consumed by diabetes. I'm tired of always having to test my blood sugar, which is getting harder to get enough blood for, and count my carbs and give myself and shot which hurts like hell, even though I have the smallest needles ever. Urgh, why can't they find a cure already? Why does my pancreas hate me and doesn't want to work? I don't want this anymore. In need of MAJOR encouragement right now.

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Comment by Kelly WPA on August 31, 2011 at 12:12pm
Unfortunately, whoever is the one that signs off on the pump is the one that gets to decide when - not that you can't still push for it. If your CDE puts the paperwork in front of the endo and he won't sign, you are stuck waiting.

Once you are able to get back to exercising, you should be able to lose any weight that you have gained - I am someone that needs to exercise to keep the weight off and if something happens that I can't, the scale goes the wrong direction. As soon as I get back to exercise, I can take the weight back off.

I think we are all harder on ourselves that people around us. I am sure you look fine, but it is your body and you are the one that needs to be comfortable in it. Once you can get back to exercising, you can find a place that you feel good!

Just know that you are not alone. Just think about the new people you talk to and become friends with online because they get you and your real life friends don't!


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