I certainly appreciate the comments and it's hard being a perfectionist! I was schooled by nuns and priests who were strict and I always wanted to maintain good grades (numbers)so in this case I strive for my numbers to be "normal". As they have been up for over a month now I know that my beta cells are in short supply as the new meds aren't really helping much and knowing that I may have to move to insulin doesn't make me feel like a failure but having to be even more diligent about number checking. Even with my perfectionist attitude I do tend to be a free spirit as a yoga teacher which is the other side of my "perfectionism" and I try to find a balance between the two. Haha. Balance, fleeting at most.I spent most of my life even as a child caring for others and after the loss of my father I was hoping for a respite and then the diagnosis. I needed to take care of myself but was hoping to enter retirement without meds as I really despise taking them. Other than this great website and the people who share and respond so gracefully, I do not have a support system for myself. I have been to diabetes support groups but really haven't benefited from them. So, I am thankful that I do have support from you all and your words of wisdom and encouragement. I am just going through a bit of depression right now, it will pass and I will move onto acceptance eventually. Now, before the rains I head out for my am bike ride. I enjoy riding and also hiking but unable to hike as I was run over by a rottweiler and twisted my ankle. But then, that's another story. Best to all and enjoy your day wherever you are. I am blessed to be on the east coast and enjoying boating and beaching this summer.