The Day I Made My Mother Cry
I came clean with (told them that I am gay) my father and mother. The ones who I thought would take me as I am didn't. My father told me, "You being a diabetic we accepted that. We didn't like it but we accepted it. But this we don't like and don't accept it. This one you do have control over." Then he told me as long as this is the life I want to live I'm not welcome in his house. This was the second time that I saw my mom cry. And both times it was because of me.
This broke my heart. And here I was about to break my fiancée heart. I'm think to myself what kind of person am I to tell her this three weeks before we are to get married. But I know it is only right to tell her. She tells me okay. And she will call everyone and let them know the wedding is off.
During all this I'm stressing over how she is going to react and trying to get over my father's reaction my bg drops like a rock. I can't tell I'm low until I'm very low. I get off the train and start walking the block to get to my car when the low hits me squaring in the face and I'm down in the middle of the street. Next I know I'm in the ER and the doctor is asking me if I took too much insulin. I'm still in the ER now waiting for them to let me go. Stress has never done this to my bg before. I'm wondering now, can stress cause bg to drop and not go up?
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Comment by Miss Miss on June 14, 2012 at 8:07am -
You did the right thing. Sorry your dad reacted the way he did. Hope you are feeling better from that low.
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Comment by brokenpole on June 14, 2012 at 9:10am -
Micah, my heart goes out to you. I had one of my daughters tell mee that she was gay. It broke my heart to hear that. I was hurt but didn't go as far as your dad did. I just asked my daughter and her partner not to show affection (other than holding hands) in my presence. There was no problem with that and we actually liked the other girl a lot.
My view of gay couples started to change as a result of my daughters relationship. Give it some time and you dad may change his mind.
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Comment by Gerri on June 14, 2012 at 9:43am -
Having had the rug pulled out from under you by your father's reaction, not surprising your BG dropped like a rock. Another diabetes mystery of why sometimes stress sends us soaring from adrenaline & other times way low. I've found that emotional kicks in the gut send me low & work related type stress sends me high. Maybe adrenaline isn't as involved in the former.
Am very sorry for the hurt. I can't imagine how painful it is. A wound direct to the heart in the most primal way. I'm celebrating your courage in coming out. We are who we are & living a lie is the most stressful & unhealthy situation.
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Comment by Shawnmarie on June 14, 2012 at 1:39pm -
What a difficult thing to go through, but I'm with the others in saying you did the right thing. And I don't think you made your mother cry. That was her reaction to what you said, but you can't take responsibility for it. I'm so sorry your dad seems to think this is a choice. Maybe after some time he'll come around and understand a bit more. In the mean time, do keep taking care of yourself.
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Comment by Johanna Burton on June 14, 2012 at 1:51pm -
I'm sorry you had to go through this. Being gay is not a choice. It's who you are. It sounds trite but time does heal and your dad could come around someday. For now, be proud of who you are.
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Comment by Micah on June 14, 2012 at 4:33pm -
Thanks for the words of support. My ex fiancée picked me up from the ER and stayed with me for awhile. I had to ask her to forgive me again because I didn't mean to hurt her but I could not live a lie anymore. She took my worries away about this. She said on some level she knew and was willing to go along with this as long as I was. Before she left she told me to be myself, my TRUE self and be proud of who I am. And if anyone makes me feel not good and proud of who I am she will personally go kick their a**. What a good friend she is.
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Comment by Miss Miss on June 14, 2012 at 9:11pm
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Micah, I can understand your pain. I was in high school when I came out and told my mum. She kicked me out of the house. So I was living on the streets. But like it was said time will heal. My mum since then had changed. Until she died she accepted me for who I am. She even liked some of my girlfriends.
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Comment by smokinbeaver on June 15, 2012 at 11:02am -
I am so sorry for your Dad's reaction Micah. Your Mom will probably come around though in time. I am brokenpole's wife, and it was our middle daughter that told us she was gay. Neither my husband nor I wanted to lose our daughter's love (she thought we would abandon her) so we got over it. Turned out our daughter wasn't truly gay, she had just gotten over an abusive marriage and didn't want to be with guys for a long time. But if we had gotten mad, we could have lost one of the best kids we had. She eventually found a guy that she loved. Thats probably not going to happen for you, some gays are born that way, and I truly feel bad for what you are going through. All this stress and diabetes will take a toll on your sugars. Don't give up on your parents though, seems you could try and communicate with your mother sometimes. Bless your heart sweetheart, its a lot to adjust to. Try and find other folks to talk to if your parents don't want to keep up contact. Its not like you chose to have diabetes and be gay.
Sharon
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Comment by Scott Wilkins on June 15, 2012 at 11:11am -
To bad folks think they need to control others in such fashions as your parents are now. As long as they raised you to high standards, what your choices are now in life are your own. If they feel sad about your choice, it's their fault for their own feelings. You are not in control of their feelings, any more than they are in control of yours. As one very smart many put it to me once, "you are the captain of your ship. Every port you dock is your doing, and if you ever sink, it's 100% your doing too." So take the emotions as you wish, not as other wish you to.
Personally, I don't understand the gay thing. But, I don't let that bother me. And I hope my feelings don't bother those who choose there own path in life. Freedom comes in many forms, different to each person. I just hope and wish for you to be as free as you can.
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Comment by Micah on June 16, 2012 at 2:36pm
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smokinbeaver and brokenpole I'm glade things worked out for your daughter. I know for me I'm not changing back. Your words along with the others here has helped. My mom even called me today to see how I was.
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