It would be nice to wake up two morning in a row and feel the same,yesterday I woke up and feeling ok well as ok as one can bee this appalling weather nice to look at but chilly to the core,this morning I feel like I have been dragged through a briar patch or hedge grove over here, hope you noticed I did not use terms like great,wonderful,amazing or even chuffed illness/conditions can really drag you down without you realising before it is to late and you end up on anti depressants like me.

This morning is one of those being pulled through a hedge have a thick head if that makes any sense been coughing and generally feel low,the cough could be down to the gloss paint drying out in our living room I did not do the painting, but the smell hangs about for days, cough cough cough,some days I wish I could sleep for ever,in some wonderful dream where i was fit and active and diabetes,prostrate and heart failure did not exist.

My mom use to say to me you reap what you sow never understood what she was going on about but I do now,you do not have to be Einstein to understand if you abuse your body with tobacco live your life as if it was a race nasty things will i they can come aboard and shoot your hopes dreams and life to little pieces, some creep up on you some come out of the blue and once you have it or them your life is never never going to be the same.

This is not a morning moan at life for life is great well for some,sailing through it with not a dread in the World fit active and showing me up for the broken down car waiting to go to the scrap yard,yes I want to run with the grandchildren yes I want to paint and decorate the house yes i want to take my Angel out for the evening is that too much to ask,well I am going to ask it and be dammed,Good morning lord I know you are busy sorting out the mess we have made of your World but if you stop for a cuppa and a doughnut any chance you could glance my way and make me better again, I promise not to do anything that would offend you again.

Lord forget my begging there are people far worse off than me sorry to bother you have a nice day,Raymond