For some reason it feels like everyone around me (especially my family) is pressuring me into becoming the perfect little diabetic, which we all know doesn't exist. Anytime I forget to stock up on supplies, or I forget something at the house, my family fusses me out for it. I hear things like "jeez Brandi, can't you ever remember?" or "gosh Brandi, you always forget!"

And when my blood sugar is out of control, I get moody just like a lot of us do. What happens then? I get into trouble with my parents. "quit back talking before you get grounded!" I cant help it!

I mean seriously, don't they even understand what I go through every day? Who am I kidding, of course they don't. Sometimes I wonder if they'll ever get it. No matter how much they try and make me perfect, it just wont work. I'll always forget some things. I'll always mess up. Them wanting me to never make any mistakes is like me asking them to jump the Grand Canyon. Impossible.

None of this is my fault! ...is it?
b

Views: 7

Comment by SF Pete on October 1, 2010 at 2:56pm
You don't have to be perfect. You're right, that's an unreachable goal. But you do have to be a bit more aware of your requirements. I would never carry glucose with me and then I'd be low and in a panic. But it is a good idea to have a supply kit that you can take on the go. Depending upon how long you'll be out you can pack as little or as much as you will need. With a little practice and thinking about it a little bit, you won't forget what you need. For a quick outing (less than over night) all you really need is a meter, strips, lancet, insulin (rapid) and a syringe. It helps if you keep rolls of glucose tabs on you. That was my biggest obstacle. Now I make sure they are in every jacket, in my brief case, all over the house. These things take a little adjustment and it's a bit of a change from the way things used to be. Just make sure you have your essentials and no one can give you a hard time about it. You do have to think about this condition a bit and plan a head some. The more you do it, the easier it gets. For a long time I resented having D and I would be in deep denial (no glucose tabs for instance). Once I got the idea that this is a management thing, it got easier for me. You will soon have your self-care woven into the fabric of your daily life and it won't seem like such a bother all the time. You will feel better, too. Less grief from the rents. Always is a long time, maybe you won't mess up like you think. Some things you have to do until they are a habit. It does get better and it seems a bit easier these days. You can do this.

They probably don't know exactly what it is you go through or how you feel from moment to moment. It makes it very frustrating. I usually get irritable when my glucose is low. :) The more experience your family has with this, the better it will be. If there's a support group run by anyone in your area, make them go to a meeting and see from everyone else there that you aren't being a drama queen and that you do have some things you have to deal with. But, yeah, you should bring your essential supplies with you. If it's a long trip, bring backups.
Comment by Gerri on October 1, 2010 at 4:34pm
Perfect--nope. Prepared--yep. They probably fuss because they're concerned & worried what will happen if you're out of something that's critical. Hey, & all our supplies are critical. Show them you're responsible by handling this. I do a mental checklist before leaving the house because I have left without them. It's second nature now to take everything along, but I still double check. Easy once it becomes routine. Saying you'll "always forgot some things" is setting yourself up to be forgetful. Those negative messages we give ourselves are potent.

Like Pete, I've got glucose (I use jelly beans because they're cheap & small) stashed everywhere.

People can't possibly understand what we deal with 24/7. I spend a lot of time apologizing to my husband when I'm cranky from lows, or impatient from highs.
Comment by The Diabetic Welfare Queen on October 2, 2010 at 7:31am
Do they ever come in here, and read other people's experiences? Particularly, adults with type 1? I'm thinking it might be a great wake up call for them... particularly those discussions in which people have discussed how blood sugar swings affect their moods. Family always have a hard time understanding and getting us, very well... add a very individualistic chronic illness to the mix, and wow... constant confusion and misunderstanding. I don't know if this might help, or even if you use a purse (I hate purses, and I never used them until I absolutely had to), but now I just have tons of things that permanently stay in my purse: snacks for possible lows, an extra glucose meter, and strips, a bottle of water... That way, I never have to think of putting stuff in my purse at the last minute. It's just already there. Though my memory works lots better now, than when I was out of control... I definitely am too leery of trying to rely on it to remember my things. lol We're all just people, in the end. None of us is perfect. Illness, or not.
Comment by Amanda on October 2, 2010 at 7:26pm
what "normal" people don't understand is that being diabetic means having it on you mind 24/7...constantly thinking and figuring and remembering...so what if you forget something, your only human, i wouldn't take it out on yourself!! :) if i have a high sugar and i'm grumpy i just try to get it lowered and in the mean time stay away from everyone so i don't hurt feelings.
Comment by Terry Keelan on October 2, 2010 at 9:03pm
yeah, it's frustrating and a pain in the ass, but keep in mind first of all that they probably think they're looking out for you and they're acting out of love and concern, not trying to annoy you. They're probably not getting on your case just to get on your case.

One way to avoid annoying comments like this is to head them off at the pass - if you know they're coming don't give anyone an excuse to use them. Keep your supplies in a bag or case that you always take with you as you head out the door. Choose a day of the week to look through the kit and make sure you're not running low on anything.

I can see a problem with they WAY they talk to you, if you're quoting them right. "can't ever remember" "always forget" are not helpful ways to encourage someone. You can take a deep breath and say something like "I do SOMETIMES forget and thank you for reminding me this time." If they argue that you 'always' forget, the problem is deeper than diabetes.

It's a pain in the ass to have to remember supplies and what to bring with us, but it's a fact of life and we have to do it. So do it and don't give anyone a reason to get on your case.
Comment by brandi on October 3, 2010 at 12:05pm
I do try and keep everything on me. I have a purse I use as an "insulin bag" with a meter, glucose, glucagon shot, a bottle of test strips, extra syringes and pump site changes, and a vial of insulin. But every now and then I wont remember to restock it. I cant find who said it, but I like the idea of doing a restock on a certain day of the week. I think that would help A LOT!

My mom does have an account on here, but she doesnt really use it. I dont think she's signed in once since creating it...

Well at least now I know I'm not alone in this :) I think I forgot for a while....Thanks guys!
Comment by s6954118 on October 4, 2010 at 12:21pm
You know I was going to add something but after reading what everyone else had to say it looks like they covered it and gave you some really good advise. I will say that diabetes is a battle of the will of the individual.
Comment by Elizabeth on October 4, 2010 at 8:03pm
Aw, honey. You're not alone. I'm managing my son's diabetes and I know the feeling -- I get so bummed out if I make a mistake or want to roll over and get more sleep instead of check his BG, but knowing that if he's really high or (worse) really low, I'll never forgive myself if I don't do it -- the idea that he could be harmed if I slack off usually gets me motivated. I suspect that where your parents are concerned, they ride you because they're so afraid that if you're NOT perfect, they'll lose you to this ****ing disease, but they also know that they can't do it for you. Hovering is just SO annoying, I know, but look at it from their perspective -- you're precious to them, and they think that even the slightest error could cost them their beloved daughter, so of course they're going to get on you when you make mistakes. To make a long story short, they're just plain scared, so they fuss.

I can relate to them because I'm a parent of a child with diabetes, and also of a teenage girl, though the two aren't the same kid. So believe me when I tell you that deep down, they don't want you to be a perfect little diabetic. If they had their way, you wouldn't have diabetes at all (BTW I hate calling people diabetics. A person isn't a disease, and the disease doesn't define the person. Remember that.) But they can't have their way, and that probably drives them bananas. What they really want is for you to be as responsible and mindful of your diabetes as they would be if they were in charge of it... and that's ridiculous, because you're not an adult and there's not a person on this planet who is as responsible for his or her own health as a concerned parent would be.

Do the best you can, Brandi -- that's all any of us can do, adult or otherwise.
Comment by JeffD on October 5, 2010 at 12:58pm
It sounds to me like your family is scared. That's understandable. Its hard to be scared for someone you love, and not be able to do anything about it. When I am scared I can go check my blood sugar, or make a list of things I have to do or renew a prescription ahead of time, something. There are things I can do when I am scared. My friends and family don't have anything they can do, except bug me, I suppose.

And this reminds me how much of a pain in the axle I become to those who I worry about.
Comment by elaine peterson on October 5, 2010 at 2:40pm
Brandi.....would you be able to print this out and let your family read it? You've said everything they need to hear to us. It's easier sometimes to write your thoughts out than to speak them. Letting them know how you feel without it being an angry exchange night make some difference. They are scared and overwhelmed by the situation, too, I suspect.

Whatever happens, you are pretty lucky to have people loving you and wanting the best for you.

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