This is not fun anymore! (Ranting and Raving me)

Not that it ever was! But this is just beyond a joke.

Please excuse this rant. I just need to write it down somewhere.

My levels in the past 2 weeks are much worse than ever before. Getting numbers close to 200 after lunches (and this is even with some insulin on board), and sometimes after dinner (if I eat without drinking alcohol as well). Of course some of this is my own fault for eating carbohydrates when I obviously I just shouldn't, but eating the wrong foods aside, the issue is I have eaten similar amounts of carbs in the past without the same soar in blood sugar.

Let me point fingers and blame my work. Work has been superstressful and busy. I've had heaps of meetings and irregular eating hours and they always provide carbs (only) as snacks at the meetings. So hungry and stressed me and carbs = me eating everything in sight (lots of carbs) = blood sugars higher than ever.

My body is also struggling and think I'm having another early m/c (got a positive HPT last week, but now P is obviously in process of arriving). Maybe all will settle down again when my body settles down again. Maybe these high levels are just a stress response.

I am considering whether I should just stop the insulin (I am taking this of my own accord, my endo only thinks I should take insulin when I am pregnant). Thing is when I take insulin (assuming I was on a dose and adjustment schedule that would allow me to adjust for carbs - which I'm not) I could theoretically eat whatever I wanted, within reason. But if I don't take it at all, then I know I can't eat carbs and maybe that will be enough motivation to avoid the carbs.

Bad thing about this site is before I came here I never knew that people get blood sugars in the 200s and 300s. I was already horrified at levels in the low 100s. But now, I am not so internally concerned about numbers in the mid to high 100s (and even up to 200). They just don't scare me like they did before. But they should.

I'm on 70/30. I tried increasing insulin dose in the morning. It covers the breakfast well, but then I'm low before lunch, and lunch isn't covered (unless it's a no carb lunch).

Don't know what I'm going to tell my endo when I see him next week (I have had to change the appointment 3x now as I keep having work meetings come up). Maybe I won't say anything and just see if he says anything when he sees my numbers.... if he asks to see them.

Am so upset with myself actually. I am feeling weak and like a failure to be here in this situation now. Particularly with my current poor eating habits.

I am also wondering if this is really a stress response or if I am somehow past some sort of honeymoon. But I am theoretically type 2 / GD. Should not have honeymoon phase.

I am obviously still in deep dark denial about this and not yet taking full and consistent responsibility.

Views: 20

Comment by She Ra on March 30, 2011 at 4:43am
T2 can be progressive. In fact, my doc tells me it always is but I know many diabetics that did not progress. I progressed in the first 2 years of being diagnosed, I am now on Lantus, Novolog, and metformin. Maybe you should talk to doc about switching to a 24 hour basil insulin with a rapid insulin for meals.

As for the BG numbers, I woke up one morning with a fasting BG of 578, I was horrified, I thought that was the first day of the end of my life. Then I found a support group and learned tons more than my doc every told me, or even my diabetes educators knew. What I found out was it is called diabetes and I have to live with it best I can. Numbers go up and down, they are never stable, if they were we wouldn't be diabetic.
Comment by Doris D on March 30, 2011 at 9:20am
It gets sooooo flustrating don't it? I have this thing (which I know I shouldn't have after 37 years of doing it) I hate the fact I have to test my bs's (that came out in the early 80's) and being a pump wear have to give myself insulin 30 minutes b/f I eat. Try explaining that to (what I call) dumb ppl. You already have a start on it b/c you know it's what and how you eat causing it. (No advice on that one b/c I know the feeling about that being the only thing you have to eat at that time) DON'T QUIT YOUR INSULIN if the dr says you need it. HEAD UP AND SHOW D WHOSE BOSS!!!!!!!
Comment by Aimee on March 31, 2011 at 11:01am
My type 2 diabetes became uncontrollable very suddenly at the end of last year (I was under a lot of stress at the time, but do not know how much that affected it). I was doing an OK job of controlling my B.G. with diet and pills for years and then all of the sudden, my readings were in the 200's and 300's even when I ate low carb. A couple months ago I started on Lantus and Novolog and my numbers are now great (even when I am not eating low carb). I was very disappointed when I first realized that I would need to take insulin, but I knew that I couldn't control my blood sugar otherwise. Eating zero carbs is just not realistic for me, either; I have tried that and it works for a while and then eventually I just go nuts and eat everything in sight! I feel much better now that I am on insulin and wish I had started on it a little sooner. Please don't be too hard on yourself. Do not look at it as a personal failure. You cannot make your body do something it can't.
Comment by Natalie ._c- on March 31, 2011 at 5:34pm
What are m/c and HPT?

I was on 70/30 a long time ago, and it was a nightmare. Lows before lunch every day unless I snacked (I hate snacking, and it just contributes to weight gain), and lows in the middle of the night, too. An MDI regimen of Lantus or Levemir as a basal, and Humalog or Novolog before meals is SO much better -- you can adjust for what your eat, and not eat to feed the insulin. One of the problems of 70/30 is that you can't adjust for meals without changing your basal needs, and that just doesn't work.

I think you should learn carb counting -- much better than fixed doses.

And I want you to know it's NOT your fault. Stuff happens. I don't know whether it has to do with stress or not, but I do know you just have to cope with whatever life throws your way. You didn't ask for diabetes, you were just unlucky! :-(

I understand denial all too well (been there, done that, and almost died), but it's your life you're talking about, and you have to be pro-active because there's no other choice. DO tell your endo what you're feeling and doing -- they tend not to be very good mind-readers, and the numbers don't tell the whole story. How you're feeling MATTERS. You might also consider consulting a psychologist to help you deal with the denial -- it's serious. Talking again from experience.
I want you to live a happy life, not one burdened with emotional pain and physical pain!
Comment by Super_sally on April 1, 2011 at 12:56am
I am currently using 70/30 by dosing it twice a day (1 dose for breakfast), 1 dose for lunch (guessing based on what I eat for how much insulin I may possibly need), and then taking Humulin-N at night (lowish dose) to stop the mornign highs. Not at all how it should be done. If I eat no carbs for breakfast or lunch then I won't take insulin.

I am so frustrated. But have to work out how to handle this.

I want to get pregnant (M/c is miscarraige and HPT - home pregnancy test) and must control sugars in order to have a healthy pregnancy.

My lifestyle doesn't allow for eating to the clock or eating exactly the same thing every day. I need a management plan as flexible as my lifestyle and schedule needs to be. I've never tried metformin (not recently anywya), so I don't know if it could be an option. If I did have insulin resistance it could help a lot and if I don't it will be revealing as to my diagnosis.
Comment by brandi on April 5, 2011 at 5:36pm
Rant all you want! We're always here to listen and offer support :) Thats what I love so much about TuD.
I would offer some advice...but alas, I know nothing about type 2...

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