So I've been stuck in this depressed mood for awhile lately...and I really hate how most of my posts have been complaining and depressing lately...but here's another one:
I've come to realize that to me, food isn't food anymore...it's just a number...when I look at any kind of food my first thought now is not "oh it looks so good" its "how many carbs are in this!?" it's even worse if it isn't pre-packaged and I have to basically guess...then I start panicking trying to figure it out. *sigh* I'm still depressed about the whole cgm thing...I can't get it out of my head and I know I'm never gonna be able to afford it..and even if I were able to afford some of it I would maybe be able to afford half a year of it...I guess it just upsets me when people are able to have cgm's but then they never use them...and I'm not trying to offend anyone those are just my negative thoughts that I gotta get out...I just get so upset because I try so hard...I test almost 10 times a day...I always count my carbs..even if I do have to guess or I miscount...my numbers haven't been the greatest since the endo changed them and I think he kinda screwed them up..I go to see him in a month so...I don't know I mean I'm glad my A1C has gone down...I mean it's gone from 16 in April? to 6.9 in October..so I am happy about that but thats about it...