To Date Or Not To Date That Is The Question

After my fiance died in a car accident we were in a month before our wedding I swore off dating thinking I wouldn't find anyone who would accept me for me. Then I met two other guys and my world begun to be whole again or so I thought. They tried hard to understand and deal with the ups and downs of my Diabetes but they just couldn't hang. Again my heart was broken but it was cool I respected their feelings and continued my friendship with one of them(lets call him John), since the other guy no longer desired to be friends.

So John call me today and say he wants to be more than just friends and wants to know if I want the same thing. My heart say don't take the chance and get hurt again. But my mind say take the chance it could be a chance at real love. When I was just in the hospital he was there with me everyday from the time visting hours started until they were over. He has really been there for me. Do I date him or not.? What is the probablility that this is my secound chance at real love? Could he have learn to deal from being friends over the years? If only I could see into the future to see how it turns out.

To date or not to date John that is my question. Just what's on my mind this Sunday afternoon.

Tags: dating, diabetes, love, relationships

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Comment by Osob on April 18, 2010 at 12:50pm: Oh Missy I am sorry to hear about the accident and your fiance it must have been hard but I am sure he is looking down at you and wanting you to be happy.
My advice would be if you have feelings for him take it one step at a time,he sounds like he really cares about you and wants to be involved in your life so maybe take that chance its better to take a chance rather then look back and say what if!
Life is not a lot of fun with diabetes so give everything a chance thats what I think.
Good luck.
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Comment by Robyn on April 18, 2010 at 1:16pm: I say yes. Take a chance on love, it is better to have loved and lost then to never know love at all. Go slow, but dont ever give up on having somebody love you and you loving somebody.

Comment by Miss Miss on April 18, 2010 at 1:27pm: I am counting the votes and so far it is 4 yes, 2 no, and 1 undecided. It is better it have loved I know this. Even though my fiance died I am glad to have had that love.

Comment by KimKat on April 18, 2010 at 3:19pm: Hi Missy,

Well, it sounds like this John dude maybe got scared at the beginning because he has changed his mind about you. I know how you feel though - you are apprehensive because he might be slightly wishy-washy about his feelings for you.

I would take a chance too - if you really do like him that is. But be cautious. If you want to be a hard-ass, have a talk with him and tell him that you are interested in a chance to take this further but make sure he understands that the diabetes thing isn't going to go away and you need someone supportive and strong to deal with it.

But I agree with Robyn, you never know want is going to happen so you have to take a chance if you think it has possibilities. Sorry about your finance - but if you want love again you have to go on and take chances. Everytime we get into relationships will people - friendship, dating, even your doctor - you are taking a chance at trusting someone. It often seems easier not to do it.

But even if he is not "Prince Charming" - you might have some wondeful memories out of it and maybe a nice short term relationship - but it could be something even better too! You only live once!

Comment by KimKat on April 18, 2010 at 3:20pm: ooops, I meant "Fiance" :)

Comment by Gerri on April 18, 2010 at 3:26pm: Go for it! Life is too short to miss any opportunity for friendship, love, or plain ole fun. What we end up regretting more are the things we didn't do.

John sounds like a true friend & exceptional person to have been there for you every day at the hospital.

Having a crystal ball to know the future would make life very boring, safe & boring.

Comment by Blondie on April 18, 2010 at 3:40pm: I always believe in giving someone ONE chance. In John's case, he only broke it off with you because of how he felt about your Diabetes. If he cheated on you, that would be another story.

I'd give John another chance. He probably has realized that he truly loves you. He obviously can't live without you and loves you for YOU. He sounds like a good guy.

There never are any guarantees with life but sometimes you have to take chances. I think John has proven that he is devoted to you and the fact that he has spent time thinking over this I'd grab him. I think your fiancee would approve. Allow yourself to be happy.

Comment by Nyxks on April 18, 2010 at 3:54pm: You will never know if he is the one less you take the chance ... I'd given up looking when my hubby came into the picture three years ago so, we started out friends only and after a year or so things progressed to the next level.

Comment by Miss Miss on April 18, 2010 at 4:59pm: You all, my mom, and his mom (my fiance mom who I am still real close to) say the same thing. Give John a secound chance. Since I still have feelings for him and he for me I should go for it. Even if it does not last I will not have to wonder what if. Right?!

I should go for it and have some fun.

Comment by KimKat on April 18, 2010 at 5:17pm: Yep, cause we all right! :) Yes, you definately don't want to be looking back wondering what if and than it is too late. Believe me I have one of "those" and I think about it almost everyday. Drives me nuts - the what ifs. Especially when you know the the person of the what ifs could have been 'the one". Unreunited love sucks!

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