Unexpected Answers

I really wasn't expecting anyone to read, let alone comment on the previous post, let alone so thoughtfully. Though I suppose anyone who cries out in the dark is somehow hoping for an answer. So ...thanks.

I'm 25, diagnosed with T I a few weeks before my 25th birthday. I was diagnosed with Hashimoto's and then pernicious anemia two months later. So, as the Honourable member for Hertford asked, nothing that would be considered "terminal," but with all this autoimmune stuff at once, it's hard to believe that my body has not just initiated a self-destruct sequence that won't take very long to complete.

Gerri, I have sought "help" for such "thoughts." Help doesn't seem to help much. Antidepressants, talk therapy, contracting, crisis hotlines, burial in work, excessive exercise, time...

Kimberly, no, not a writer, though occasionally I do have things to say.

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Comment by Judith on April 27, 2010 at 6:26pm: Sometimes one simply has to Plod On and trust things might be better eventually. I have many plodding days. I do rotate seasonally through Valerian, St. John's Wort and Motherwort (all the "worts"an heighten photosensitivity) which ease things a bit.....

Comment by Scott on April 27, 2010 at 7:13pm: Hmmm... how long has it been? There are 5 stages to grief, that we all experience and all move thru at different paces. Keep talking, keep living. You have the ability to make it thru, we all have it. I know you have it because you are posting here. Push thru, you'll find yourself again once you do... once you are ready

I think you'll be just fine
Scott

Comment by Judith on April 27, 2010 at 7:41pm: Well said, Scott---just remember that the 5 stages are seldom linear as they occur and can move forward and back even though one must pay homage to all of them!......

Comment by Kathyann on April 27, 2010 at 9:23pm: One day a time. That is how it works for me.

Comment by Teena on April 27, 2010 at 9:37pm: Taking it one step at a time works for me...I try hard not to lose sight my life's goals (things I want still to achieve) and inspirations (things that keeps me going, like my family).

Comment by Kristin on April 27, 2010 at 10:17pm: Just know that you are not alone... many of us are here living with multiple autoimmune illnesses. It's not easy, but it is good to remember that we face them together! Look around here and see the full lives lived with people who have had type 1 diabetes for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, + years. They offer me encouragement and remind me that I too can live a full life!

Comment by Gerri on April 27, 2010 at 11:38pm: I thought you were a writer also. You should be!

I also have Hashimoto's & often wonder what new autoimmune devil is going to rear its ugly head. Being more than twice your age, I can attest to that it takes a lot for our bodies to self-destruct. The prime directive appears to be to live. Like many here, I almost died from DKA. Actually, I felt so horrid that I didn't care if I lived at the time. Utterly astounding to me that any of us survive that & come out whole.

I'm not meaning to minimize what you're going through, but it truly does take time to come to terms with the startling & overwhelming change. One day everything is different. One day you don't feel like the person you were. One day the world, your world, is upside down & the life you knew is gone. I cried a lot. Going around & around in my head was "I want my old life back, I don't want to be sick."

Wish there was a timeline to get us through so we'd know at X date the panic, worry & fears would subside. It does & it's a journey to arrive there.

We all grieve this loss, feel depressed, feel angry. Anyone who says they don't either has discovered a secret I wish they'd share, or is putting on a happy face.