Unexpected Sadnesses of the Holiday Season
An old dancing friend recently posted on FB an update on stroke signs because the importance of early recognition is so vital.
I was suddenly transported back to December 12th 2009. On the phone long distance with my Mom---discussing All Things Holiday as we always did---when suddenly her words were unrecognizable.
I got it within a few seconds. But I am still amazed that I had the presence of mind to talk to her calmly about sitting down at the kitchen table near where she was standing and suggesting this that and whatever while I grabbed my cell phone for the other ear---which you should know mostly lives in a drawer and that I often forget I even own. And because my sister and I had talked about various scenarios, I actually had the Emergency phone # of the Minnetonka Police/Fire folks (3000 miles away)in my little travel contact/address book.
They got there. They got her to the hospital----a really Great hospital. And this was the beginning of life-changing events. As the most available, I prepared to move into her home for the end process as caregiver. While I got ready to go, other family members rotated through the weeks from as close as the next suburb to as far away as California to keep her safe. And we did it eventually. All together. She died in her own home. At peace.
The holiday season is so complex emotionally, isn’t it?....Blessings on us all
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Comment by Brian (bsc) on January 6, 2013 at 7:37am -
These sorts of memories are burned into our minds. I lost my mother to a sudden stroke 21 years ago and I remember vividly receiving the call and the hour it took to get to the hospital. I never got the opportunity to say goodbye to my mother, she had passed almost immediately. I'm glad you had a chance to be there with your mother at the end
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Comment by renka on January 6, 2013 at 8:26pm
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I lost my d ad to strokes also.its so heaetbreaking to hear your story. I'm sorry to hear it. My heart goes out to you.
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Comment by Judith on January 6, 2013 at 9:04pm -
Thank you, dearhearts. My Dad also passed due to a series of strokes (and comlications of The D!). But I was far away then. Mom's death was so up close and personal. As you said, Brian, I wouldn't trade it at all. But that 3 months of caring for her changed me irrevocably. Some of the things that happened gave me PTSD-type flashbacks. Plus my beloved of 30 years and I had never been apart before for more than 2 weeks. No wonder I needed a Grief counselor a couple months after I got home. And found a Great one with the help of Mom's amazing hospice team.....Thanks for Being there, my friends.....
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Comment by Brunetta on January 6, 2013 at 10:50pm -
Judith, my heart goes out to you!! cCaring for your Mom in her final days was the most loving and the most diffiult task you have probably ever done. I can relate, having gone through a similar situation when my Dad died from Alzheimer's complications in April of this past year (2012). My Dad died at home, too;And our Hospice services were formidable as well. It is grand that you were able to benefit from the Greif counseling services.
Judith, as time passes, it will get better. You will find the bittersweet Holiday memories will become, though tinged with sadness, an opportunity to reflect and smile with a usbtle warmth inside; all emanating from the remembrances of the touch, the smile, and the unconditnal love of your Mother.
God bless,
Brunetta
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Comment by Brunetta on January 6, 2013 at 10:52pm
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Excuse the typos, my dear. It is late and I am a bit tired.
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Comment by lotsofshots on January 15, 2013 at 6:36pm -
I am so sorry for your loss. Both my parents passed away. It is not any easy thing, especially around the holidays. Wishing you peace and love.
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