Ups and downs with diabetes
Today marks the 6th anniversary of my diagnosis of diabetes. (I know that in comparison to many of our members, I'm still a newbie. Still...) For some unknown reason, I really like to mark my D-anniversary in some way, but I never quite know how such a day should be marked. So I figured I would at least write a blog post reflecting on my six years with diabetes.
Somehow on my D-anniversary, I always think most about my diagnosis, but I already wrote about that here. So instead, I decided to spend some time today thinking about the every day life with diabetes. I can tell you one thing, it is filled with ups and downs.
Here is a (somewhat) random list of ups and downs in my life with diabetes.
UP: They started giving me insulin after my diagnosis. That felt really great. I felt alive again for the first time in months.
DOWN: I got home from the hospital and for the first time I had to calculate my insulin units on my own. I looked at the needle filled with insulin and became terrified. I thought that if I miscalculated I could kill myself. I knew if I didn't take it, I would die. All of a sudden I both loved and hated this clear fluid that is my life line. For the next months, I felt some degree of fear at each injection.
UP: I had an emotional breakdown the day after getting home from the hospital, which involved me screaming “I NEED TO KNOW THAT I CAN LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. I NEED SOMEONE TO CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT I CAN LIVE, TRAVEL, AND DREAM WITH TYPE 1 DIABETES.” The next morning the phone rang. At the other end was the voice of a woman that has type 1 diabetes. She told me that I can live a normal life. She told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.
DOWN: I stopped caring and I lost motivation in the stress of college.
UP: I had three pre-med roommates who thought that living with someone with type 1 diabetes was a cool experiment. We learned a lot together.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn't care.
UP: I had people who cared about me enough to tell me that it mattered to them that I took care of myself. They told me that if my child had type 1 diabetes, I would take better care of the child than I do of myself. They were right.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn't care.
UP: I found my partner for life, who is also my partner in diabetes. He learned quickly and became a type 3 diabetic.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn't care.
UP: I found TuDiabetes and knew that I was not alone.
...
I find it very easy to lose motivation in diabetes management. But somehow, eventually, someone was always there for me to help me find it again. For that I am so grateful! So, in all the ups and downs of diabetes, I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Neither are you!
Somehow on my D-anniversary, I always think most about my diagnosis, but I already wrote about that here. So instead, I decided to spend some time today thinking about the every day life with diabetes. I can tell you one thing, it is filled with ups and downs.
Here is a (somewhat) random list of ups and downs in my life with diabetes.
UP: They started giving me insulin after my diagnosis. That felt really great. I felt alive again for the first time in months.
DOWN: I got home from the hospital and for the first time I had to calculate my insulin units on my own. I looked at the needle filled with insulin and became terrified. I thought that if I miscalculated I could kill myself. I knew if I didn't take it, I would die. All of a sudden I both loved and hated this clear fluid that is my life line. For the next months, I felt some degree of fear at each injection.
UP: I had an emotional breakdown the day after getting home from the hospital, which involved me screaming “I NEED TO KNOW THAT I CAN LIVE A NORMAL LIFE. I NEED SOMEONE TO CALL ME AND TELL ME THAT I CAN LIVE, TRAVEL, AND DREAM WITH TYPE 1 DIABETES.” The next morning the phone rang. At the other end was the voice of a woman that has type 1 diabetes. She told me that I can live a normal life. She told me what I needed to hear when I needed to hear it.
DOWN: I stopped caring and I lost motivation in the stress of college.
UP: I had three pre-med roommates who thought that living with someone with type 1 diabetes was a cool experiment. We learned a lot together.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn't care.
UP: I had people who cared about me enough to tell me that it mattered to them that I took care of myself. They told me that if my child had type 1 diabetes, I would take better care of the child than I do of myself. They were right.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn't care.
UP: I found my partner for life, who is also my partner in diabetes. He learned quickly and became a type 3 diabetic.
DOWN: I lost motivation and decided that I didn't care.
UP: I found TuDiabetes and knew that I was not alone.
...
I find it very easy to lose motivation in diabetes management. But somehow, eventually, someone was always there for me to help me find it again. For that I am so grateful! So, in all the ups and downs of diabetes, I find comfort in knowing that I am not alone. Neither are you!
Comment
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Comment by gisela cabello on November 13, 2009 at 3:54pm -
Happy Daniversary......
And yes there are ups and downs....my baby turns 3 next tuesday and on december it will be her 2nd Daniversary....
I always rememmber the words of the NICU dr......he said you are lucky , because she could have something that would not allow her to live a normal life...but with diabetes, you'll see she will be able to live a normal life...
I know it's a different "normal" cause the shots, pricks and site changes but we learned that we can have her swim, run, rider her bike, play with her brother, laugh and cry and we already traveled 5 times abroad even to remote places on south america where her grandparents live.....
Taking care of her every day and night is just somthing I do for her today and her future and I just pray every night for a cure....and you know what...I really believe I will live enough to see it....... :-)
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Comment by Kristin on July 23, 2009 at 1:07pm - Thank you all for your find comments!! They were an "up" for me :)
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Comment by Kelley Muller-Smith on July 23, 2009 at 12:00pm -
Kristin:
You are an amazing woman to me. I am ver grateful to know someone who has feelings like myself with type one diabetes. Yes, you can live a normal life (of course you know that now) and it cna be very rewarding. Stay encouraged and know that as you do all you know to do to take care of you, the rest will fall in line. You will never know the impact on my life of knowing your feelings are similar to mine. It's just good to know that someone elses goes through what I go through. thanks.
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Comment by heather turek on July 22, 2009 at 6:11pm - hey kristin you have come a long way! it's interesting that through the ups and downs we get stronger and not weaker! keep up the good work!
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Comment by MelissaBL on July 22, 2009 at 4:16pm - I can't imagine another website where a roller coaster-y line graph could make me tear up (and relate). Thanks for sharing, happy celebration of another healthy year with diabetes, and know that we all love you so much.
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Comment by ErinArg on July 22, 2009 at 1:02pm -
Kristin-
I'm SO glad you found TuD! You are so positive and such a strong motivator for so many. Ups and Downs happen, whether you're diabetic or not. Happy D-versary. Mine was May 21 (37 years!!!) It's fun to celebrate!
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Comment by Christina on July 22, 2009 at 8:54am - love this blog and happy anniversary!
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Comment by FatCatAnna on July 22, 2009 at 7:38am - Great post Kristin. It's funny, but since discovering Tudiabetes this Spring - I never really thought much about my diabetes. I just had it - and I dealt with it - didn't know many others that had it. Now, with reading other stories like yours and others - with how you deal with diabetes - it makes me realise what we all go thru' - with the ups/downs. I've never put how I feel with diabetes into words - but it probably would be much like you have here if I really sat down and put it down in writing. You speak for many of us out there! Now, maybe I'll celebrate my Dday next month - hmmm - can we put candles on a chocolate cake for that ??? If we do, my cake will be huge - it'll have to hold 43 candles - so maybe I'll have to send you all a virtual slice .
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Comment by Kathy on July 22, 2009 at 6:38am - Kristin, I've seen you around this site alot. I've noticed that you are always there for people and are very supportive. I know you've commented on some of my blogs and it's always been very encouraging. Celebrate today! You're a great person!
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Comment by debb on July 22, 2009 at 5:55am -
your the greatest kristin.
you always seem to keep your head and sound so practical. we tend to forget that even you have struggles. your no nonsense advise gets us through the tough times and we can feel the smile in your words. i sure hope that we do the same for you.
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