This feels oddly refreshing and I am not sure why I didn't go out looking for this kind of network decades ago. Anyway, I was diagnosed with Type 1 when I was 2 years old. I'm 30 now, so I never had to go through the big life change that many people have to go through when diagnosed. I've basically lived with diabetes my entire life. While it is nice that I didn't have to make a massive lifestyle change in the middle of my teens or 20's, I've never had any idea what it is like to live without diabetes and I think that caused me to live in denial of it until about 2 years ago. After 6 years of therapy and finding an amazing endocrinologist, I was able to see I am in control of my life and putting in the time and effort it takes to make sure that my numbers are good is well worth it.
When I got diabetes back in 1982, all we had were visual strips to test bloodsugars. Needless to say, tests weren't very accurate and my control basically didn't exist so I always felt shitty. Not to mention, I was 2 years old, and at that age your parents should be seen as pillars of love and safety. Mine were, in fact, amazing. Unfortunately, a 2 year old can't understand that the reason why your mom and dad have to hold you down and prick your fingers and give you injections is because they love you and want you to be healthy. It made a huge impact on me and left a big scar. I was an angry little kid and an even angrier teen. I wouldn't let anyone in and I missed a lot of normal kid things b/c I was too afraid/ depressed/ mad. Looking back, I kind of wish that I had gotten diabetes when I was older so that I could comprehend what exactly it meant and why the therapy I was doing (either pump or injections) would make me feel better, rather than just avoiding confronting and taking care of it because I thought feeling bad was a foregone conclusion.
Anyway, I am here now and it is so great to see all the interaction everyone on TuDiabetes has with each other. I feel like I can open up and not worry about having to explain my feelings because everyone here understands them. I'm so glad to have found this group and I hope to make some strong relationships with other diabetics, either over the internet or possibly in person in Seattle.