Well Here I Am.
This feels oddly refreshing and I am not sure why I didn't go out looking for this kind of network decades ago. Anyway, I was diagnosed with Type 1 when I was 2 years old. I'm 30 now, so I never had to go through the big life change that many people have to go through when diagnosed. I've basically lived with diabetes my entire life. While it is nice that I didn't have to make a massive lifestyle change in the middle of my teens or 20's, I've never had any idea what it is like to live without diabetes and I think that caused me to live in denial of it until about 2 years ago. After 6 years of therapy and finding an amazing endocrinologist, I was able to see I am in control of my life and putting in the time and effort it takes to make sure that my numbers are good is well worth it.
When I got diabetes back in 1982, all we had were visual strips to test bloodsugars. Needless to say, tests weren't very accurate and my control basically didn't exist so I always felt shitty. Not to mention, I was 2 years old, and at that age your parents should be seen as pillars of love and safety. Mine were, in fact, amazing. Unfortunately, a 2 year old can't understand that the reason why your mom and dad have to hold you down and prick your fingers and give you injections is because they love you and want you to be healthy. It made a huge impact on me and left a big scar. I was an angry little kid and an even angrier teen. I wouldn't let anyone in and I missed a lot of normal kid things b/c I was too afraid/ depressed/ mad. Looking back, I kind of wish that I had gotten diabetes when I was older so that I could comprehend what exactly it meant and why the therapy I was doing (either pump or injections) would make me feel better, rather than just avoiding confronting and taking care of it because I thought feeling bad was a foregone conclusion.
Anyway, I am here now and it is so great to see all the interaction everyone on TuDiabetes has with each other. I feel like I can open up and not worry about having to explain my feelings because everyone here understands them. I'm so glad to have found this group and I hope to make some strong relationships with other diabetics, either over the internet or possibly in person in Seattle.
When I got diabetes back in 1982, all we had were visual strips to test bloodsugars. Needless to say, tests weren't very accurate and my control basically didn't exist so I always felt shitty. Not to mention, I was 2 years old, and at that age your parents should be seen as pillars of love and safety. Mine were, in fact, amazing. Unfortunately, a 2 year old can't understand that the reason why your mom and dad have to hold you down and prick your fingers and give you injections is because they love you and want you to be healthy. It made a huge impact on me and left a big scar. I was an angry little kid and an even angrier teen. I wouldn't let anyone in and I missed a lot of normal kid things b/c I was too afraid/ depressed/ mad. Looking back, I kind of wish that I had gotten diabetes when I was older so that I could comprehend what exactly it meant and why the therapy I was doing (either pump or injections) would make me feel better, rather than just avoiding confronting and taking care of it because I thought feeling bad was a foregone conclusion.
Anyway, I am here now and it is so great to see all the interaction everyone on TuDiabetes has with each other. I feel like I can open up and not worry about having to explain my feelings because everyone here understands them. I'm so glad to have found this group and I hope to make some strong relationships with other diabetics, either over the internet or possibly in person in Seattle.
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Comment by Rye on April 29, 2011 at 2:31pm -
Hey Tom, glad you found this site. I was happy when I found it back in March. I got diabetes later in life, in my 20's and honestly its just as bad then. I know what you mean by missing out on things, I was in college living a care free life when everything changed over night. Diabetes is much of a mental adjustment than anything else. We all can agree with you on that. That is why I joined. I am not a social networker at all but this is different. It is more like support from people who already understands me even though we never met. So welcome to the party!!!
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Comment by Jessie on April 29, 2011 at 3:55pm -
I was diagnosed at 7, but everything else you say sounds like me. The missing out on normal kid things due to depression, avoidance and denial and constantly feeling shitty, especially. I'd never (knowingly) spoken to another type 1 until the past year when I started getting involved in the JDRF and reading these forums. It really does make such a huge difference. I actually get really emotional in groups of other diabetics because it's so strange seeing other people doing the simple things like testing their BG and checking their pumps. I know other people do these things, but in my day-to-day life they always feel exclusive to me.
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Comment by LaurenDazzle on April 29, 2011 at 4:38pm -
This was so interesting! I was diagnosed at 15, and I wished that I had gotten it when I was younger. I wish I didn't know or remember a life that was "normal". I had wished that I was younger so my parents had to share the responsibility with me. I think overall it just sucks. There are ups and downs to being diagnosed at different ages. It really does make difference to accept and be involved. I am so happy to hear you are making positive changes.
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Comment by Mike on April 29, 2011 at 5:51pm -
So true. This community is amazing. Not only can you open up and share, you don't have to worry about explaining all the back story because everyone here gets it. How many times have I said something about carb counting and had a friend say, "why are carbs important?" :) That won't happen here.
Welcome!
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Comment by Doris D on April 29, 2011 at 7:20pm -
It didn't help to be older either. I took Type 1 at 10. Had a 1st cousin with Type 1, you would have thought I kinda knew a bit about it right? NOPE! I was so angry with my patent's ( my dad mainly since his sister's child had type 1 I thought it was a family curse) that........................... let's just say I wasn't the nicest teen you ever met.
Your right TuDiabetes has alot of interaction (I'm waaaay older than you in 82 I had already had Type 1 for 12 years)
we all understand your feelings. I hope you will think about me as a friend here.and anytime you just want to talk don't think twice about coming to me!
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Comment by Terrie on April 29, 2011 at 10:15pm -
Most chronic diseases are a heavy toll on the vast majority of Children. It's Sad, if someone would think otherwise. It's Good to hear that you found help and have gained Success for your Future. Thank you for sharing this.
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Comment by karebear1966 on April 30, 2011 at 12:22am
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Welcome! I am a type 2..ish..lol so i dont have to deal with the injections..yet anyway. But even still the feelings are not much different for us either. I am grateful for this site and the friends I have made here. We are all here for support.. giveing and recieving! I love it here.. as I am sure you will too!!! Take care and keep in touch!
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