How many tears do you cry? Really. I mean...for your child...for your spouse....for the other people who have diabetes? How many tears do you cry for yourself...as the parent of a diabetic child? A million? A bucket? A river? An ocean? Immeasurable....Even if and when you think, "We've 'got' this. No problem. We can totally handle this." You still cry. A little? A lot? In the shower where no one can see. In the daytime when you're alone and no one can see. When you see how many needles are in the container and realize that that is just a minute amount of the needles you've gone through sticking and sticking your child. Not to mention how many thousands of finger sticks. Do you cry on the inside everyday because you realize that even if you won the biggest lottery jackpot in the history of lottery jackpots it won't be enough money to cure your child? Do you get mad because you realize Fruit Roll-ups were made by the devil and your child LOVES them? Do you get mad because your child hates vegetables so you look at the "meal/vitamin relpacement drinks and realize just one may send your child into a diabetic coma? Do you second guess yourself because you think the school nurse is like the lunch police and the only "healthy" thing in your childs lunchbox is a go-gurt? Because any 'normal' child could eat a candy sandwich and she wouldn't ever notice but YOUR child has to have his lunch 'checked' for the carb/sugar content.
But...you never complain. You bring supplies with you EVERYTIME you step out the door. You drop off extra test strips because you think there may not be enough for the day at school...and you drive the 10 miles to school just for that reason. And you smile....and you're nice about it. And you don't ever get upset about diabetes out in the open. In the ugly daylight where anyone can see. Because...there are the good days...and the good times...and the "I feel GREAT today, mom" times. And you don't ever complain because you know it could be worse(somedays you don't know HOW it could be, but...)And you know you will never be given anything you can't handle.
And you never complain because the art projects and spelling tests still go on the 'fridge...and the toothpaste is still gooped up in the sink and the little socks are now bigger socks and are still on his floor....like a normal child....