I woke up this morning and just felt yuck. I was tired, my stomach was sickly and my head felt like a civil war was being fought inside it. My blood sugar was pretty close to ok, 147 and has stayed below that level all day. Dipping to 122 for a brief time before going back up again, at any rate the day has felt, well yuck.
So I got back in bed pulled the covers up and wished it would pass me by. At 10:00 AM or so I woke up looked out of my covers and dutifully pulled them back over my head. It is now noon and following a call about how I could save on death insurance if only I choose a $93.00 per month plan they would over look all my ailments and insure me for a wonderful total of $6,000.00. Quickly doing the math that means I would need to live about 5 years and I would pay for the insurance myself. Yeah that seems like a good bet for, well for the insurance company. It is strange this phone call shows up on the same day I am feeling ill. I told them no I was feeling better than $1,100.00 a joke she did not get and I told her I was tired of talking to her and hung up. I saved their number in case I do go in the hospital with a fatal prognosis so my wife can call them and buy the insurance. Now if I were on your death bed, a no medical exam or medical questions life policy might be a good buy. Oh and if I act quick maybe I could get Alex Trebeck to do my answering machine message. I mean at those rates Alex ( a nice man I am sure) ought to come over and clean the house or wash the car, I mean something.
Of course one of the major drawbacks of keeping covers over your head is that you are shut in with day time TV. So far today I have solved three murders and broke a drug smuggling ring, heck it is only noonish. Imagine how much I could do if I stayed in bed every day. By the end of the week I feel pretty sure I could stop at least 10% of world crime, all by staying in bed. Give me a month and all unsolved murders would be solved. In one year all crime of any kind would be wiped out. Yeah give me a year off and the criminals would be gone, all by me watching TV. I am tough after all.
Speaking of unsolved mysteries how do TV police officers afford such lavish California houses? Almost all of them are located on the beach and many drive newish cars, all the while they chase criminals for a living. Now I love California and LA in particular but the folks who can afford ocean front living do not strike me as police officers. I do not know who they are, but I am sure that, by and large, they do not chase bad guys around all day.
My pup seems confused by my day long cover pull. She is tired of being tired and concerned her daily routine might be interrupted. Oh her daily routine is sleeping, but what might happen if I sleep and she sleeps, and the sleeping is too much and I don’t wake her up and she misses her dog buddy sniff, and the mail person comes and she doesn’t notice and someone calls and I don’t answer and it is time for her pills and her paws hurt and the criminals come to our house and we miss the debut of something important on TV and I am sitting in the recliner and she needs to sleep there and, and , and. Well as you can tell she has a pretty tough life. She even rolled over twice. Oh and she never worries, after all she has way too much to not worry about too worry. We all should be so lucky.
Ok well I have wasted enough blog space. It is around 1 PM and sure enough I feel better. But ooh wait, I see a drug cartel that needs broken up. Pull the covers and let’s get to it, this one looks tough. If I get it broken up by 2 PM I am sure you will see it on the news this evening. Tune in at 6 PM I might be getting a medal for my incredible work in the elimination of crime. Of course I will be in bed with the covers over my head. I may not notice, so if you see me getting an award, let me know.