I find it hard to say with you standing in front of me. I've hidden these words for years, their weight suffocates entirely. But, if I say it out loud will you think less of me? WIll you turn your back and walk away, leave me to fight, lonely?
I start to say the syllables, but only a breath comes out. You believe I'm sighing and tell me to sit down. You pat the space beside you and let me rest where you are. You take my hand in yours. My sleeve rises, reveals a scar.
You know I used to hurt myself, but you don't know the reasons why. I did it just to feel something; for proof that I won't die from a little blood here and there, from my arms and fingertips. Like the torture across my limbs, even inside, my blood drips.
You know I used to starve myself, thought I needed to be consoled. But, I did it to feel empowered. I did it to feel controlled. As my body wasted away, you could see bruises and bones in my neck. Like the purpleish stains on my thighs, my pain was all I had left.
You know I was hiding something, I stole out of view every few hours. I'd binge drink and then panic. You'd hear my crying in the shower. I always carry my purse with me; it's always too big and filled up. I wear it like it will save my life. That's the truth, can't stress it enough.
Inside is my past, present and future, test strips, syringes and vials. I'm sorry I won't be here forever; I'm struggling to stay just a little while. I'm tired of torturing myself when the gauntlet's lowering on its own. My sight's blurring, my feet tingle... I'm afraid to sleep alone.
You rest your arm around my shoulder. (I haven't yet said any of this) Too afraid to admit this pain; my soul, like blood, is drained and adrift. "What if I told you I'm slowly dying," I whisper. "I'll help you stay here," you say. "I'll make you smile and laugh, I'll wash your tears away."
I start to shudder and chill. (half of me worries that I'm low) But, I feel refreshed, alive. I wonder if you see, if you know. I whisper, "Some say to find a soulmate is the purpose of your life." You reply, "I think it's your best friend who happens to be your wife."
I was too afraid to admit defeat, but I was drowning myself on my own. You tossed me those words, a liferaft; said I didn't have to do it alone. I reached out and grabbed you and I jumped from that sinking ship. My wounds showing, blood flowing; My purpose in life is just... to live.
There was once this thing call diabetes Which included the fun of being healthy It’s not that bad if you want to learn The value of life and the need to turn Turn your life around if you have type 2 The healthy choice is up to you If you have type 1 just like me Then enjoy your treats and you can see See that although it can be a pain It’s also good to learn new things and gain A new way of life and all things new We love ourselves no matter what – it’s TRUE
They called him Mr Down But all his numbers were High He was happy that" high" came His way Till chemotherapy started And all his hair was lost, Fell "down" He could not bend to pick it up And he hates wigs so much Mr Down spent his days Raising up his spirits And endlessly, Crying
( A Down syndrome boy who is diabetic and got leukemia lately )
Listed so many numbers, Listed so many…. Things But they forgot "Me", I am fighting To be out of all numbers "Me" is still proud Though my numbers, Are not
Her voice echoed in my being So lively She could not see me when she finished But she felt my heart Her lovely blind eyes searched the sky And her soul, pointed at me Her lovely voice is not blind Her lovely voice, Can see
Paper Insert Time-Saver Coaching Tips for a Most Speedy Efficient Finger-Stick of Splendid Results
By Amy Green
Is there time for this? And time for that?
On work-day’s clocking tick?
But who invents the extra hours?
For pauses… so bleeding… eccentric!
A tedious un-zip open…
A wearisome cock-back ‘click’…
And a most, uncertain, outcome—
Of this dreary-dull,
Finally Accepting By Jolene Okajima-Kodani, Written April 6, 2012
Diagnosed: April 2010
Being diagnosed came as a surprise to me Since I left fine
The only thing really different was
The fact that my heart was racing sometimes
But then I was told that this may have been caused
By my daily inhalers I took for my asthma attacks
Over the past thirty years.
You think being the fact That when I was first diagnosed,
I would have been more thirsty and dizzy
Being as my numbers were in the three hundreds.
This period of time was the most difficult Since I had to re-adapt to changing how I took care of myself.
Slowly I came to the realization that stress
Was the biggest factor in making my blood sugar
Remain in the two hundreds.
I had to take myself out of that picture And into a healthier environment
That was less stressful
As well more affordable
Along with being in a place I can exercise more often.
So today I am able to eat any things of foods, Get plenty of exercise,
And remain stress free everyday.
Although I have gotten used to pricking myself twice daily,
Just looking out for things that raise my blood sugar
Is the most interesting aspect
I find in dealing with diabetes everyday.
I take nothing for granted any more Especially since daily life
Can often the most challenging
Dealing with how my body feels
Like unexpected tiredness and being hungry all day.
Just keep fighting until the end
Without even considering the possibility of giving up!
Diabetes by Damon Fitch
A lethargy crept over my body. The drowsiness was deep.
Busy summer of sports, but when not on the playing fields all I could do was sleep.
‘Cept when I was waking up in the middle of the night going to the bathroom.
Doctors were slow to catch I was falling into a sugary doom.
Early on a Monday morning I sat in the doctor’s office my eyes wide shut.
For the next few days it was off to the hospital, my ailment we finally knew what.
Gave me a sugar baby with needles to practice sticking.
Had something called diabetes: certainly not something I would have gone picking.
Insulin shot into my body is not a cure.
Just a sometimes painful reality that’s really better than dying, that’s for sure.
Kind of hated doing blood tests at first,
Later the technology improved so with fright I was no longer cursed.
My blood sugar levels for a while were way too high.
Not good when over 12 your hemoglobin A1C does fly.
Over time the control got way better.
Philadelphia Flyers legend Bobby Clarke one time for encouragement sent me a letter.
Quest to achieve a delicate balance: that is the goal.
Reaching glucose levels too high or too low really takes a toll.
Stability through exercise and diet is what we are after, but
Taking many missteps we must accept with laughter.
Understanding of carbohydrates, proteins, fat, and sugar we gain.
Visions of bananas, Sobes, and ice cream when sugar levels are drained.
When will a cure be found?
Xylophones are ready to ring a celebratory sound.
Year number 30 with diabetes is underway.
Zest for life the disease will not cause me to stray.
Diabetes Hands Foundation is incredibly honored to join the Diabetes Advocacy Alliance, an organization with the drive and potential to affect a powerful, positive impact on diabetes and healthcare policy. Diabetes Advocacy Alliance is a 20-member coalition of leading professional Read on! →
HELMSLEY CHARITABLE TRUST GRANTS SUPPORT TO DIABETES HANDS FOUNDATION FOR FOURTH YEAR Funding in 2015 to support major transitions in programs and leadership at Diabetes Hands Foundation BERKELEY, CA: February 18, 2015 – The Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Read on! →