Had a horrible experience over the weekend in which a parent of a child my daughter dances with accused me of making "too big of a deal" about diabetes, "using my iPhone to calculate carbs" "and " drawing too much attention " to my daughter by my presence with her at events...  My kid had endured three months of teasing at school (by his kid) for eating indian food at lunch (she also has celiac and can't eat any school lunch)  a strange twist iOS that he is a doctor, family practice, the head of a hospital and a supposed pillar if our community... Has anyone experienced negative feedback by others when your child's chronic illness draws attention?  I know this guy is a manipulative moronic narcissist, and his kid is following his example, but how do you deal with people like that?  It was a terribly demeaning experience, I am also a physician, wish I had audiotaped it for all y'all to listen... 

Views: 796

Reply to This

Replies to This Discussion

How to deal with people like that? Don't. I'm not the best at one line comebacks, but how about, "...And how I raise my child is your business because...?" or, "Gee. I thought close control of blood glucose levels was the key to avoiding dialysis and blindness down the road for my child - Did I misread the research?" or, "My dad taught me the best way to stop a bully is to break his nose...."(fist twitching) God. Where do you live? If it's near me I'll break his nose FOR you. How about "SHUT UP!!!!"

Thanks we are in ky,  yes, about control I did mention my daughters a1c is good, he said " I don't worry about an a1c unless it's over 9 ... Has a huge inpatient practice which probably takes in cash, all of the icu stays and dka admissions... Poor control much more profitable for this guy apparently, 

No parent wants to draw attention to the disease, at home or out in public. But even when done discreatly, people see, and comments or questions follow- well meaning or otherwise. But the fact is that safety always comes first. I don't have a bunch of advice for you, wish I could tell you to just punch him in the face! lol But this quote comes to mind....

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things, and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path."
~Agatha Christie

Thanks,  I try to answer questions other kids ask if kennedy is uncomfortable, they come up often when the dance group sits down to eat together... Some about the pump, she's not to the point she can just say" no thank you" when kids are passing around pizza and sharing food...
Yea a punch in the face would be warranted, I was actually scared he was going to punch me in the face, and when I said I was trying to figure out why he would be so angry, he said"don't you try to pull that psychology crap on me"  and "don't you try to tell me my family is screwed up" I was floored!  My best guess is narcissist type a controlling personality disorder with kid with histrionic tendencies, anyway, my daughter has had relief fr the teasing, so the emotional beating to me was worth it,  

I love to draw attention to type 1. The more people I educate the better! I do keep it in check when my son is shy, but I also want him to know that living with type 1 is a huge accomplishment. Be proud. Let other people know you are proud. I have even found when his playmates are educated they look out for him and alert him if he is acting strange...(at pre-school) one 4 yr old says to my 4 yr old (now 6) um Riddick you don't look so good. Is your blood not happy? Riddick was then checked by his teacher, he WAS low and it was handled! Education is the key!

Just ignore him. He's ignorant, he has no idea what you have to deal with caring for your child's chronic illnesses, he has no idea.People like that want attention, just ignore him and tell your daughter to do the same with his kid, ignore them, pretend like they are not there. It sounds so childish, this guy has his nerve.

I thought the same thing, if he would speak that way to me, he must treat his wife an kids that way too,  having a little explanation helps me understand the kids behavior and helps my daughter deal with the situation too... (she heard the whole thing) 

What to say. I'm convinced that nobody who has actually been affected by this personally really has a clue about it. Natalie, as a pediatrician, would your knowledge level on this topic be anywhere near the same level it is now as a mother? I doubt it. People will always be ignorant. Sometimes people are in positions (such as this guy) where we hope that they aren't, in which case it is especially upsetting and disappointing when they turn to be just as dumb as people we wouldn't have expected better from. My mother has been a practicing pediatrician for about 30 years--I am certain she learned more about diabetes in the past 6 weeks than all that time combined.... It's unfortunate though, when morons like this guy you had the problem with feel the need to shoot their mouth off...

Nope I've learned a lot in 11 months! We're you diagnosed 6 weeks ago? Hang in there your mom is going to kick ass for you!  Have her look up some trials for you!! 

Although a snappy comeback would certainly make you feel better, I think it is more important to instill in your daughter self confidence in every way you possibly can. By doing so you will enable her to withstand the inevitable teasing and outright harassment. Given a large enough sample there will always be a certain number of jerks and bully's. Growing up is tough enough without the added burden of diabetes.

You should be applauded for using the latest technology to achieve the best possible control, not castigated for it. As a physician I am curious as to why you think so many docs just don't seem to get it vis a vis diabetes? A shortcoming in medical school curriculum, or is our sample here on tuD skewed somehow?

Badmoon has some good ideas there!!! I don't do it well but it's really best to ignore ppl like that. Like I say I don't do it too goo at all but I have learned over the years that as long as ppl know it's bothering u the worst they will get

We don't exactly " work together". More competitors in our community, really, I do all outpatient, some disruptive healthcare, mobile app diagnostic development, advise m health Startups,  corporate wellness,  whereas he has traditional practice... But he could hurt my reputation for sure... 




From the Diabetes Hands Foundation blog...

DHF Joins Diabetes Advocacy Alliance

Diabetes Hands Foundation is incredibly honored to join the Diabetes Advocacy Alliance, an organization with the drive and potential to affect a powerful, positive impact on diabetes and healthcare policy. Diabetes Advocacy Alliance is a 20-member coalition of leading professional Read on! →

Helmsley Charitable Trust Renews Support for DHF

HELMSLEY CHARITABLE TRUST GRANTS SUPPORT TO DIABETES HANDS FOUNDATION FOR FOURTH YEAR  Funding in 2015 to support major transitions in programs and leadership at Diabetes Hands Foundation BERKELEY, CA: February 18, 2015 – The Leona M. and Harry B. Helmsley Read on! →

Diabetes Hands Foundation Team


Melissa Lee
(Interim Executive Director, Editor, has type 1)

Manny Hernandez
(Co-Founder, has LADA)

Emily Coles (Head of Communities, has type 1)

Mila Ferrer
(EsTuDiabetes Community Manager, mother of a child with type 1)

Mike Lawson
(Head of Experience, has type 1)

Corinna Cornejo
(Director of Operations and Development, has type 2)

Desiree Johnson  (Administrative and Programs Assistant, has type 1)


Lead Administrator

Brian (bsc) (has type 2)


Lorraine (mother of type 1)
Marie B (has type 1)

DanP (has Type 1)

Gary (has type 2)

David (has type 2)


LIKE us on Facebook

Spread the word


This website is certified by Health On the Net Foundation. Click to verify. This site complies with the HONcode standard for trustworthy health information: verify here.

© 2015   A community of people touched by diabetes, run by the Diabetes Hands Foundation.

Badges  |  Contact Us  |  Terms of Service